04/20/2008, Phoenix, AZ

"Whore!" The word was accompanied by a mental slap that left Jael staggering, flushing her cheeks a pale pink mark, his sign of shame. She stumbled backwards, weak from blows she cannot block or fight against, her hands clasping her head - to stop the pain or to shield her head, she wasn't sure. All she was sure of, was that Charles was pissed and she didn't know if she could absorb his rage.

"You fucking whore!" the psychologist screamed again, his fists squeezing shut until his hands shook. "I set things up for you, so perfectly. And what the hell do you do? You go tramping off to another man! He's a criminal Jael - the kind of man you're supposed to stop!" And the worst part is that's true, and she knew that. Oh, she wasn't sure he was a criminal, but she knew he was an Elite, and they have tarnished records for the most part. She should have thought, and instead she did. Again.

Jael found herself in the corner of his garage, sitting with her knees curled up in front of her defensively. Why? He'd never hurt her before, had he? Why was this dark anticipation bubbling up in her? "I didn't know-"

"And you didn't ask, either," Sakolove snarled, the light coming from his bulb overhead to flash off his glasses, turning them into white, unpenatratable circles. Inhuman. "Worse, you acted reprehensively in front of a lot of people. This could hurt your chances of Quantico, if word got back to them. Do you understand?"

"I... I'm sorry," she whispered, her tear-stained blue eyes looking up at him, begging him not to hurt her again. She felt his mind push against hers, and she sobbed at the intrusion, shutting her eyes and hoping it didn't hurt this time, like it just had.

Salvation tried to reach her, to set her free. A rabbit. Yer a rabbit again, Jail, Kazuo's voice told her, and just that mild accustation brought a backlash of anger, and the anger brought strength. For a second, she pushed back against the mind in her head - not a tentative push like she'd done to test, but a real shove, true rebellion. This was her mind, now and forever.

He took forever from her without effort, shredding her resistance; he crushed her soul with a wave of power. Jael found herself on her knees, unable to even remember what she had done that had made Charles so mad. Her head ached, throbbing as if she were erupting again, from a godling into something that could save her from this. But nodes have limits, and his mind washed her over hers, bringing a reflexive flinch. "I'm sorry," she whispered as her body lost its strength, as he shut down her voluntary muscles.

"No," he muttered, a black mass standing over her as she lay helpless, "no, you've gone too far. I can't let you alone now." Him mind bore down upon hers, and Jael blacked out under the incredible pressure.



"Jael?" Charles' gentle voice pulled her out of her sleep, a beckon calling her to the light and life. The blonde nova blinked blearily and glanced around. She was resting on the couch in the corner of his garage, where she often sat when they talked. Charles was kneeling on the ground in front of her, smiling gently, saintly, her one-and-only savior.

"What... when did I get here?" Jael asked, reaching up to rub her head. No pain, but she thought there should have been.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked, his thumb stroking her temple. His voice echoed strangly, but Jael decided it was because her head hurt so much.

"I..." Someone named Kazuo... Daniel flying... Praxis, looking like a dark angel... Gorgeous Ausrine, angry at me... "The Bake-off, kinda. How'd I get home?"

"You flew," Charles said so matter of factly, and yet so vaguely.

"What?" She reached out and touched his face, the intimancy strangely normal. It didn't feel right, not completely right, like his skin was missing something. "Didn't you have a scar? On your forehead?"

Charles looked angry for a second, angry that she misremembered while getting it completely right, before he told her, "No, you're confusing me with someone else."

"Ok," she said, pressing her palm to her forehead. The pressure made her head ache a little less, but her head didn't really hurt. Nothing was right; everything was fine. "I don't remember it really well."

Sakolove looked amused. "I found this in your backpack." He held up a bottle of Ampwell and Jael groaned, shame and embarrassment all in one easy sound. "Don't worry. We'll keep this our secret."

"Really?" Jael asked, her fair skin turning red.

"Really. Part of being a teenager is being dumb, hon," Charles told her, his thumb massaging her temple. The touch made her tingle, like she did when Jimmy slips a hand under her shirt, just like that, just like Charles' touch has always made her feel. She knew this, because it was true, in her mind, completely. "You have to be more careful than this, but I'm going to let the holes in your memory be punishment enough."

"Thank you," Jael breathed, her eyes sliding shut. After a moment, she opened them, smiling at him. He's... different somehow. She studied his face, wondering why she once thought he was too old. He was older, but not that old. "You changed something, Charles." A pause, in which he thought a hundred wrong things, in which she tried to read him and failed. "I don't know what it is."

Guilt crossed his features and was gone. "I..." He pulled away from her, rising to his feet and staring at the target dummy intently. Staring at nothing, and drawing her out, all in one. "It's nothing, Jael. You should just rest."

Distantly, as if someone else were doing it, Jael stood and followed him. Somewhere during her drunken sleep, the orbit of her world had changed, wrenched to the side by a man she thought she knew. But now, awake again, she feels calm and quiet, and if she's really seeing Charles for the first time. "Charles, no," she said, the words feeling like a script - he moves to X, and she says Y. "Tell me." She caught him and pulled him around to her, taking his hands. Not really what she does, but it all happens just the same. "Please, tell me."

"I was too worried for you," he murmured, dropping a hand to reaching up and cup her cheek. She turned her face into his hand, nestling into the warmth and security that he's always provided, hasn't he? Hasn't he always been there for her?

The next moment is long, full of tension and possibilities. And because Jael never stops herself, never checks her impulses - which is part of her charm - she kissed him, for the new-old love of him, for his love for her, and for the second time, though the first didn't count because it was excised from her brain. The kiss was slow and gentle, and better and worse than she thought it would be, because it fought with the ghost of kisses she can't remember anymore. All those holes, and she didn't even know that the emptiness inside her wasn't being a teen or depression or anything more than a man careless of anything other than his dream. They were abysses in her head, yawning spots that lead to a truth that would strengthen her or destroy her.

Charles kissed her as much as she kissed him, and his lips were filled with the hunger of long-wanting. Jael was a little surprised by his passion - it reminded her of something, but that was another hole, and she pulled back from the abyss. A wolf had been made into a rabbit, and as Charles gently pushed her willingly down onto the couch, the poor bunny didn't have a clue.

For the first time in a long time, Charles was completely happy, relaxing on stolen pleasure. He should have done this a long time ago, he reflected, as he nestled his face into the silken expanse of Jael's breasts. She was quiet beneath him now, shivering occasionally as the last pulses of pleasure raced between their bodies.

Smiling, Charles reached through the permanent link he had established between them, testing both its strength and her current state of mind. He could feel her enjoyment of their love-making, a soft sigh of bliss in his mind. And as always, it was a field of calculated violence and thoughtful murder, human destruction personified, though that was subdued right now. It was a familiar mind by now, almost comforting. But there had been a recent change to that empherial space; for the first time, her mental landscape had chosen a form.

In her mind, Charles stalked around the wolf that lay chained to the floor, listening to the rumbles that shook its ribcage. It was a fascinating form for her to take - sleek, powerful and deadly. It was also the symbol of instinct ruled by reason. The chains that girded it were thick and strong, but that didn't stop the wolf's constant attempts to flee or those endless snarls. It was defiant despite complete subugation and Charles was sure it was the part of her that had fought him earlier. That stupid Kazuo and his wolf-rabbit nonsense had altered her mental landscape, a fact which piqued the dominator to no end.

But none of that matter now; Kazuo was in whatever hole he lived in, and Jael was here, naked against him. "Are you ok, darling?" he asked her, brushing sweat-dampened hair back from her forehead.

"Yes," she purred, shifting against him slightly. "That was amazing." She paused, and he gently urged her to finish the words that were forming in her head. "I... I think I love you."

He kissed her, pressing joyfully to her as bliss spiraled through him. "And I love you, sweetheart!" he whispered, smiling broadly before kissing her again. Oh, yes, Charles was a very happy man.



Jael settled down on the front steps of her house, her power fading away as she stopped her flight with an internal movement as natural as curling her arm. She was yawning as she reached for her front door, exhausted from her flight as well as her time with Charles. Away from him, she didn't have to act pleased or sexually sated; she could just be numb and empty. But here at home, she had to at least act normal. She felt him touch her mind, nudge her a little, and suddenly she was sexually sated and pleased. She pasted on a smile she did and didn't feel and reached for her door.

A familiar noise cut through the night air, and Jael turned to see a familiar truck with a familiar boy getting out. Jael sighed, only to feel Sakolove reach through her and stifle it. Her wolf screamed in frustration, but the girl didn't; she just walked to meet Jimmy like a good little rabbit.


"Hey," she said, noticing that he wasn't reaching for her. It was like he knew that Sakolove was making her break up with him, like he saw the end coming. But she quickly found out that it wasn't anything he was picking up from her.

Jimmy just handed her a rolled up sheaf of paper. Questions in her eyes, Jael took it and unrolled it. Understanding warred with consternation when she saw a print-out of a website called 'Nova-watchers.' This article was about her trip to Texas, and there was a picture of her floating with Daniel, plastered to his body. The second picture was her flying with Kazuo, doing much the same. "What are you going to say about those?" Jimmy asked simply, his expression fragile and somber.

"Nothing," Jael heard herself say. "I think they say it all."

Jimmy's stern expression broke and the boy choked back a sob. "That's it?" he begged, his voice shaking as his eyes welled with tears. "Nothing? After a year? It's just nothing?!"

"I've got nothing else to say," Jael said, shrugging.

"I guess I'm not good enough for you since I can't fly, huh?" Jimmy asked, his body sagging with pain.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jimmy," Jael said, because once again she's the puppet, and what she wants to do is tell him to help her. She loves Charles because she must, but she wants to be free, too. But she says what she's supposed to say, and nothing more.

"Fine," he said, backing away from her. "I love you, Jael. I stood by you. I guess that doesn't count, not without me having a node." He didn't wait for her answer; he just stepped into the truck and gunned the engine, pointedly not looking at her. He drove away in a squeal of rubber, making Jael flinch at the assault on her tender hearing.

Jael turned away, numb. Sakolove let her take over as she walked to her house and entered, but he forced her to be happy again as she closed the door behind her. He made her chuckle to herself when she heard her mother casually call out her name. "Jael? Honey, is that you?" He made her be normal.

"You'd better hope it is," Jael laughed as she followed her mother's voice into the kitchen. Donna Carver was beaming as her eldest daughter entered the kitchen and grabbed her for a hug. "How was the party?"

"It was good," Carver said, pulling back but still smiling. "Your rolls were a hit."

"Good, I'm so glad you're home safe. Oh, sweetie, Jimmy called this morning, and asked if you were home yet," Donna said, leaning against the counter as she watched her daughter raid the fridge.

Jael paused with her head in the fridge, bitting her lip. Jimmy. Damnit... I'm sorry. "He was outside. We already talked."

"Oh, good," Donna glanced at the clock stifling a yawn. "Well, I need to get to bed, if I'm going to get to work tomorrow. And you have school in the morning."

"You know, Mom, you didn't have to stay up and wait for me."

"Honey," Donna gave her daughter a look that only a mother can give. "I'm not even going to reply to that, because you certainly know that I did have to wait for you. I needed to make sure you're safe." She grabbed her daughter's head and pulled her in for a kiss. She stopped with her face close to her daughter's and a small frown crept over her features. Jael held her breath, waiting for the worst. Finally, her mother released her and said, "Sleep well, honey."

"Night, Mom," Jael said. What was that? She looked really... suspicious. Jael shook her head, unsure of what her mother had suspected. There was certainly enough to choose from. Sighing, Jael went to her bedroom, knowing that she had to sleep somehow. She was too wound up though, and she unpacked her overnight bag she'd taken to Cleveland. Normally after a trip she was lucky to have her bags unpacked within a week. But tonight, it was an excuse to burn off energy.

She put away the tupperware in the kitchen and tossed her clothes in the hamper. She was about to sling the bag into her closet when she realized it wasn't empty. Frowning, Jael dug into the front pocket. I never put anything in here, she mused to herself, unzipping it and pulling out a book. Still frowning, she turned it over and blinked at the title, Learn Japanese in One Month. "What in the world?"

There was a reciept from a B&N in Tulsa, which was about half-way, as the crow flies. "Why did I pay... twenty-two bucks for a language book?" Jael mused.

"You might remember me mentioning that English was a second language for me."

*Throw it away,* Sakolove told her, and Jael gasped and dropped the book. His voice was so clear in her mind, as if he were already there. *Yes, love, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm doing it to watch you, because I love you. Now, throw that book away.*

Nodding, Jael tossed it at her trash can. It rebounded off the wall and dropped in, while Jael put her bag away. Time to put the Bake-Off behind her. It was time to move on with her life, and her new boyfriend. Smiling, Jael prepared for bed.

April 21, 2008, Phoenix High School, Phoenix, AZ

Shelly shook her head as she listened to Jael, her expression one of admiration. "So, you finally dropped him, huh?"

"Yep," Jael said. She sighed and sat forward on the bench, rubbing the grass with her sneaker. "I feel kinda bad, how it went down, ya know?"

Shelly grinned. "What just because some asshole with a camera caught you macking with one of Japan's bad boys?" She leaned closer, her dark hair brushing her shoulder. "Is he a good kisser? Don't hold back... c'mon... you gotta dish to your BFF!"

Jael blushed and shook her head, torn between laughing at the sarcastic use of BFF - neither of the girls felt their friendship in the soft terms of "Best Friends Forever," though they were - and melodramatic horror. It was bad enough that she'd broken up with Jimmy that way, and two weekends before prom, too, but for him to find out third-person? It made her feel shitty.

That feeling of shitty didn't stop her from gossiping with Shelly, though. "I don't remember," she admitted softly. She glanced around to make sure none of the other kids in the school's quad were paying attention to them. She found that many were, though they were staying far enough away that they couldn't hear them talking. "I found an empty bottle of Ampwells in my bag afterward."

Shelly's eyes went wide. "Oh, god... were you drunk?! Did you... go further than kissing?" Shelly's hands made a quick vague gesture which conveyed her intent perfectly.

Jael bit her lip. "I... don't know."

"You know if you were drunk, that's like rape," Shelly growled. She grabbed her friend's arms and drew her up. "Is that what's wrong with you? I thought it was because you were upset about Jimmy, but if someone raped you when you were drunk, I'll eat their detached dick for dinner."

Normally, watching her friend get so protective of her, a nova, was cute. Today, though, it only made that touch of dread in her gut worse. "No... wrong? I'm fine," Jael insisted, unable to meet Shelly's eyes. Charles' mind touched her, and Jael felt him start to take over. Charles, wait, I can handle this! Please let me try. He receeded and Jael forced herself to look up at Shelly. "Look, I know I've been weird lately. But... I'll get better. I just need time to adjust."

Shelly looked dubious for a moment before sighing. "You'd better get better. I'm not going to graduate alone, you know."

Jael smiled. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." She sighed. "Even if I am going to prom alone now."

"If you want a date, you should call Kurusu," Shelly said slyly, then laughed at Jael's exasperated expression.

"Yeah, that'd be comfortable. Hi, we made out for a while in Cleveland, wanna come to my high school prom?" Jael shook her head. "He wouldn't be interested, and I wouldn't want him there. He's kinda a jerk."

"Whatever," Shelly said, rolling her eyes. "You always like the jerks."

"Jimmy wasn't a jerk," Jael pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," Shelly said, her expression thoughtful. "I couldn't figure out why you were going out with him. I finally decided he had a huge cock."

"Shelly!" Jael skretched, pushing her friend off the bench. Shelly allowed the fall, giggling the whole way down. "Anyway, he'd bring Aušrine, and that'd just be awkward."

Shelly stretched out in the grass. "I'm sure the boys and the lesbies wouldn't mind that at all."

Jael shrugged. "Whatever." She was quiet for a moment; the sounds of someone being heckled caught her attention and she looked up to see Jimmy surrounded by some boys. Even from here, she could hear them ribbing for losing out to a nova. Jael bit her lip and looked down, wanting to rush to his aid and knowing that wouldn't help. "I never had sex with Jimmy, so I don't know about his cock."

"Oh, come on," Shelly said, "you guys were going out for more than a year, and you never even copped a feel?"

Jael grinned. "Well... maybe once or twice."

"Is he huge?"

Jael shrugged. "I dunno, about the same as-" Horror filled her as her teeth clicked shut; she'd almost mentioned Charles.

"Who?" Shelly asked, missing Jael's dismay. "Daniel Fox? Kurusu? Come on, you have to share. Whose cock is as about the same as Jimmy's?"

The bell rang, and Jael gratefully grabbed her books. "Not right now. Come on, we have to get to class." Charles was already berating her for her mistake and Jael felt her mind bending under the weight; she didn't realize that was visible through her body language. She hurried back into the building, not looking back; had she made Orpheus' mistake, she might have noticed how somber and thoughtful Shelly became as she watched Jael walk away.

April 24, 2008

Phoenix High School, Phoenix, AZ

The intercom hissed to life with its usual burst of static, making Jael flinch. "Ms. Jail Carver. Ms. Jail Carver, please come to the principal's office." Jael blinked and glanced at Shelly, who shrugged. Mr. Yo, their handsome Asian teacher of non-specified heritage cleared his throat, but the PA crackled again. "Ms. Shelly Collins, Ms. Shelly Collins. Please come to the principal's office."

"Well, ladies, no more study hall for you," Mr. Yo said, curiosity in his dark eyes. The other students stared with various amounts of interest as Jael and Shelly gathered up their stuff and headed out the door. Mr. Yo stopped them at the door to give them hall passes; then he shut the door and they were alone in the hallway.

"Did you do something?" Jael asked just as Shelly said, "What'd you do now?"

"Right," Jael replied as Shelly frowned. "The only way to find out is to go and find out."

"That sounded S-M-R-T," Shelly giggled as she fell into step next to Jael.

"Shut up," Jael said, but she was smiling. The two fell into silence, comfortable enough to not say anything as they walked through the halls. Since their talk on Monday, they had avoided talking about anything that might set off that awkward pause again, though Jael could tell Shelly thought about it from time to time. Jael hoped that Shelly continued to just think about it, for a long time to come - like forever. She didn't know what she'd do, if she couldn't be friends with Shelly anymore to protect Charles.

There was no thought of other options for Jael - Charles came first.

Mrs. Bixman was waiting for them, her older matronly smile on her face. Jael and Shelly exchanged glances; when you were in trouble, Mrs. Bixman would act cold and scowl at you. When you were about to get bad news, she was nice to you. "Have some candy and a seat, girls, while I call Principal Morris," she said as she set a bowl of candy on the counter. Jael's stomach tied herself in knots; this was bad. Neither she nor Shelly had any candy. In the back of her mind, Charles joined the tense vigil, his anxiety adding to her own.

Mrs. Bixman had called the principal while they were fretting; her conversation was short, because the moment after she'd announce that they were here, Mrs. Bixman hung up and said, "Go on in, dears."

Jael found Shelly's hand without looking; she wasn't sure if she had reached for her or if Shelly had reached for her. It didn't matter; her friend's touch was comforting to her as they eased into the principal's office. Mr. Morris raised his eyebrows at their gesture, but he said nothing. The Hispanic man in the uniform of the Phoenix Police Department made a soft grunting noise, which was accompanied by a smirk of understanding. Jael, despite her respect for all cops, gave him a quick dirty look; he was apparently a pervert or something. Or maybe she was overly sensitive.

The younger cop was wearing the Phoenix uniform, and Jael blinked as she recognized their school liaison. He was staring at her nervously, the tips of his ears slowly turning red. Jael found herself wishing her skirt was a touch longer - it was school regulation, but the way he was staring made her feel scandalous. Irritated, she flipped up the edge of the skirt, as if adjusting it. She wasn't worried about showing her underwear; she had taken to wearing full bottoms over her underwear so that she wouldn't show off her undies when she flew. That movement flashed a good bit of thigh and he glanced at the corner of the room, his face turning bright red. Served him right.

"Ms. Carver, Ms. Collins," Mr. Morris said, breaking the tension in the room. "Please, take a seat. Any seat." Jael pulled Shelly to the sofa to the side of the desk; it put her back to the wall and allowed her to stay close to Shelly. "I'm sure you're wondering why you've been called in. Detective Gutierrez has some questions for you, Ms. Carver."

"What about me?" Shelly asked.

"You're here to collaborate her statements and offer support," Mr. Morris said, then grimaced like he'd said too much.

"If I'm going to be questioned, I want my parents here," Jael said, stiffening in her chair. "You can't ask me sh- anything without them here."

"You're not under suspicion, Ms. Carver," Detective Gutierrez said, his voice deep and thick, like something that he had to chew on before he could say it. "We have an ongoing investigation, but you're not at all a suspect." He saw the continuing doubt in her face and added, "We can call your parents, if you'll feel better with them here."

Jael sighed and considered for a moment. Shelly's grip on her hand tightened and Jael squeezed back, gently. "I'm right here," Shelly whispered.

Jael nodded. "Ok, I'll answer your questions, but if they get personal, we stop and wait for my folks."

Gutierrez nodded and reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a notebook with one and settled glasses onto his face with the other hand. He flipped the notebook open to a page and consulted some notes. "Alright, let's start easy. When was the last time you saw James Guhde?"

Shelly stiffened next to her and released her hand, sliding it over Jael's shoulders and taking Jael's hand with her free hand. Jael swallowed and said, "Sunday night... no, wait. I think I saw him in gym class yesterday."

Gutierrez was like a hound, zeroing in on her anomaly. "Why did you say Sunday first?"

Jael sighed. "That was the last time we talked. We broke up that evening."

"Because of Cleveland and your interactions with a Mr... Kazuo 'Kurusu' Kanai? Or would that be your Texas trip to visit Mr. Daniel Fox?"

Jael flushed, and suddenly his knowing look made a lot more sense; he thought she was dating Shelly. He thought she was the pervert. Mr. Morris cleared his throat, looking suddenly uncomfortable. And the fact that the detective was sitting here, judging her and making her look bad to her principal, just pissed her off. "Detective Gutierrez, that's none of your damned business." Shelly gaped at her while trying not to smile; Mr. Morris gasped.

"Well, it may be, if one of your other boyfriends made James Guhde disappear." The sentence was said calmly, while Gutierrez watched her reaction closely with glittering eyes.

Jael felt the blood rush out of her face, but the shock dampened her anger only a little. "Daniel isn't like that; he wouldn't hurt Jimmy when he could just outshine him," she said with absolute certainty, "and Kazuo wouldn't bother. If I didn't leave Jimmy for him, he would shrug and return to his Lithuanian blow-up doll." She knew that using their given names would only make her look sluttier, but she lifted her chin and took it. The implied familiarity could only strengthen her statements. "Was there signs of violence... where Jimmy was seen last?"

"No," Detective Gutierrez said, making notes. "But in this day and age, that doesn't mean anything. Daniel Fox could have strong-armed him out of there, and Kurusu... well, he doesn't even need to be in the same room as Mr. Guhde to get to him. One of those warp gates underneath him, and good-bye James. So though there is a good chance that he's run away, we're investigating all angles, because of the circumstances." Those dark eyes bore into her again. "What was Mr. Guhde's mental state when you saw him last?"

"Jason Terrance was telling him that he wasn't hot shit anymore because he'd lost his nova tail," Jael said, trying to shock Gutierrez. "Jason went on to describe how he would have done things differently, so that he would have kept my 'hot ass.'" She smiled bitterly, showing too many teeth. "I have better hearing than most people assume. I imagine Jimmy's mental state was poor at that moment."

"Right." The pen moved some more, taking some more notes. "I don't suppose you know of some places Mr. Guhde liked to go to hide or be alone?"

"Yeah, his dad is a maintainence worker at Phoenix Country Club. Jimmy sometimes swipes his dad's keys and hides in the maintainence shed," Jael said.

Gutierrez frowned and slapped his notebook on his thigh in vague frustration. "That's what his parents told us."

"Sorry, he didn't take me anywhere else to make out," Jael said, against running off her mouth in hopes of shocking the asshole.

She felt Charles' disapproval, a hot poker in her brain. *Calm down, Jael,* he said angrily, and her rage flowed away, like water through cracks in the sidewalk.

"Ms. Collins, anything to add?" Gutierrez asked, looking at Shelly.

"Nope." The single word was tight and angry.

Gutierrez was nodding, watching both girls. "Alright. If you have anything else, please let me know."

"We're done?" Jael asked, a little surprised.

"Unless you have something else?" Jael shook her head while Shelly muttered a negative. "Then you can get back to class." Jael and Shelly stood slowly, uncertainly. Neither girl really believed that he'd let them go without grilling Jael some more. They were not disappointed; at the door, Gutierrez said, "Ms. Carver? I may need to ask some more questions, so I'll be in touch. Oh, and... happy birthday, Ms. Carver. You're eighteen today, right?"

"Right. Thank you," Jael said before turning and leaving.

"Oh, god..." Shelly breathed once they'd cleared the room. "What... do you think happened?"

Jael bit her lip as Charles fed her an answer, the 'normal' thing to say in this situation. "I don't know," she said softly. "But I hope he's ok."

April 26, 2008

Phoenix High School, Phoenix, AZ

It had been the longest three days of Jael's life. Everyone knew now, and there were whispers about her in the halls of school. She'd gotten more propositions from her fellow classmates than she had believed possible. It seems as if kissing one or two other men - while secretly sleeping with a third - meant that you'd sleep with every other man who could frame a sentence with the words "fuck" and "me" in it. She was officially the high school slut, but it hadn't downgraded her status. If anything, it was accepted as part of being a nova. They didn't mean for it to, but she heard talk of her increased appetites and how humans weren't enough anymore.

And the hard fact was that they may not be. Her sessions with Charles completely satitated her, and she couldn't see a human boy having the stamina to satisfy her. It took a lot of work to tire her out, and Charles loved doing it. His fingers and body were talented beyond what she had considered possible and he left her drifting on a sea of bliss every time they joined.

And it still wasn't enough. Those moments when she was with him, when he was in her mind, she was fine. But the moment he turned his attention elsewhere, she didn't feel so good anymore. She feared she was becoming addicted to him, but was assured that couldn't happen.

Those thoughts were in the back of her mind as she prepared for prom. She might be going alone, but she'd be damned if she would not have fun. This was her senior prom, and she was going to enjoy it. She was sorry that Charles couldn't be there, but he had to give a presentation at the local college, and it would eat up most of his night.

Jael was jarred from her musings as Shelly bumped into her, jostling her over enough to use the mirror. "Hog," the dark-haired girl muttered as she carefully applied eye liner.

"Bitch."

"Cow."

"Whore."

"Slut."

"Girls, honestly," Donna complained as she poked her head into the bathroom. "Come on. Nice girls don't say things like that."

Both girls rolled their eyes but fell silent, continuing their preparations. Shelly was wearing a red dress which fell in an A-line from under her breasts, hiding the ten pounds she had trouble losing. The color was flattering to her, as was the dark makeup she'd chosen for herself. Carver was her opposite, dressed in a white dress that clung to her torso, her makeup highlighting her Nordic features. They would have made a cute a couple, except that Shelly had a date, and Carver didn't. She was grateful that Ross hadn't changed his mind about "double-dating", despite the fact that was more like "date-and-a-halfing" now. Fortunately, Ross wasn't Jimmy's friend, so there wouldn't be that awkwardness.

"Fantastic," Shelly declared, making kissy faces at herself in the mirror. "And you're pretty too, Jay."

Jael giggled, not minding the minor jibe. She winked at herself before turning to Shelly. "Are you ready?"

"As soon as Ross-" The doorbell rang and both girls screamed, "Mom!"

"I've got it!" Donna shouted back; from Ruth's room, the door slammed shut, which was Ruth's contribution to the conversation. "Ruth! Don't slam the door!"

"Ok, now, remember that we're going for fun, ok?" Shelly asked, taking Jael's hands. "No depressing talk, no worrying about anything and any guy who gets fresh with you gets a kick in the balls, from me." She pointed down to her feet, displaying the long toe on her shoe. "I even wore the right shoes for the occassion."

"Done," Jael laughed, taking Shelly's arm. Together, they walked out to the living room where Ross waited.

The young African American popped to his feet when he saw the women, and Jael was relieved that he managed to focus more on Shelly than her. That could have been awkward, even if this was a "friend" date between Shelly and Ross. "Wow, Shelly, you look nice," he said, grinning widely. "Oh, here." He pulled out a plastic box with a corsage on it; wisely, he'd gotten a wrist corsage, and there was no awkward attempts to pin it.

"Thank you," Shelly smiled, admiring the flowers on her arm. It was expected, but nice to receive anyway. Jael looked at Shelly's flowers and felt glad for her friend, trying not to be angry at Charles for leaving her alone tonight. Even if he had been available, he couldn't have come with her. He would lose his license.

Ross tapped her on the shoulder, and Jael looked up at Shelly's date. She'd been so distracted that she hadn't noticed him approach her. "I know this is weird, but Shelly insisted," Ross said, producing a second corsage. "And just to be explict, this is a friend-sage, ok? Shelly wanted you to have one and now you do."

"Thank you, Jael said, grinning broadly as she slipped the flowers onto her arm. Feeling a knot in her throat, Jael murmured, "Shelly..."

"Don't," Shelly warned. "Don't get emotional, because I'll get emotional, and then my mascara will run..." The girls carefully hugged, making an effort to not mess up their hair or makeup.

"Are you ready, ladies?" Ross asked, rubbing his hands together. Jael and Shelly grabbed their purses and followed him outside, to the dark car he'd driven over. He held the door for both of them, though he put Shelly up front with him, before driving the few blocks to the school and repeating the process in reverse.

The school's gym had been decorated with the traditional streamers and paper decorations; the theme was "Walking on the SUn," and the solar motif was everywhere. The three took a table, and soon they were joined by other couples and singles. Jael quickly forgot about her troubles; many of the guys there were more than willing to distract her with dancing or humorous quips. She knew what they wanted, not that they were going to get it. But she let them distract and amuse her, and to pass the time.

About ten, the obligatory ceremony started, with the popular kids getting called up to serve on the Prom Court. Jael wasn't really watching; it was a high school tradition, though she saw it as a requirement to get through so that they could return to dancing. "Now, We're about to announce the Prom King and Queen," Mrs. Talley said to the crowd of students, trying to get a more somber mood generated. But it was near the end and the students were eager to get it moving again. With a sigh, Mrs. Talley held up the card and said, "Ok, then - the 2008 Pirate Prom King is... Fred Meine!" There was general and completely unsurprised appauluse. Fred was tall, handsome and the school's all-star athlete. He was headed to Columbia University on a football scholarship. He was also incredibly nice, and for once, Jael felt like someone worthy had won.

"Now, for the 2008 Pirate Prom Queen..." Mrs. Talley paused, finally seeing a bit of interest. Even Jael was a touch curious; all of THE popular girls were already in the court. "issssss... Jael Carver!"

Jael's jaw dropped and she glanced at Shelly to make sure she'd heard her right. Shelly shrugged. "I voted for you," she said before giggling at Jael's expression.

"So did I," Ross added. Most of the people at her table were nodding too.

"Go!" Shelly shouted, pushing Jael toward the stage. Numb, with the world blurring around her, Jael slowly mounted the stairs to the platform where the rest of the court had gathered. Everyone was cheering and appaulding. There were even a few whistles and shouts.

I've heard you whisper awful things about me, Jael thought at she stared at the crowd. I know what you think of me. And still you cheer me on. With the clarity of a lightening bolt in a dark storm, Jael understood what it meant to be adored and loved completely. They had put her up here because she was a nova; while some might have wanted to be selected without the node, Jael understood. She loved and admired Slider. Why shouldn't these people, in her small part of the world, love and admire her. It didn't matter what she'd done. She was their nova.

Smiling, she allowed Mrs. Talley to put the tiara on her head. It was her due.



"I should have seen it coming," Jael admitted, curled in the back seat of Ross' dad's car.

"I'm glad you didn't," Shelly laughed. "The look on your face was fantastic."

"It was pretty awesome. I got a picture of it on my cell phone. Hey, I'll email you a copy of it, Shell," Ross added, grinning at Jael's best friend. Shelly nodded eagerly.

They get along well, Jael noted. They should date. She thought about encouraging them to go to the after-prom party they'd been invited to, but she was enjoying their company. She silently swore to never forget that people like Shelly and Ross were good people; Shelly had been her friend before she was a nova, and she'd made the transition with the ease of a true friend. As much as she was theirs, they were hers.

Now she was really bummed that Shelly was going to UMSL instead of somewhere closer to Syracuse.

"Oh, god, Jay. There's cops at your house," Shelly said suddenly, twisting around in her seat, reaching back with a comforting hand.

Jael swallowed and leaned forward, expecting to see flashing lights and milling cops, like on TV. Instead, it was two dark cars, waiting like sleeping sharks. Jael pinched her lips together. "I'm not in trouble," she said. "They'd be hiding if they were waiting to arrest me." Or they'd send Utopia. "If it were a crime at the house, they'd have their ligths on and a barricade."

Shelly's eyes were full of compassion, as Jael put the pieces together. "Jimmy. They found him."

Ross silently parked the car. He moved to get the doors again, but neither Shelly nor Jael had waited for him. Jael was half-way to the house despite the tall heels she wore before Ross could circle the car. He helped Shelly cross the lawn in her heels while Jael entered her house, her heart pounding. She wasn't that concerned about Jimmy, but she was terrified that the cops would have found evidence that Kurusu or Daniel was responsible. They would become her enemies, lawbreakers, and she'd lose... what? She didn't know, but her instincts were telling her that it would cost her something she cared about.

Detective Gutierrez's black eyes latched onto her as soon as she entered the house, but there were more officers with him, wearing the uniform of the Coconino County Police Department, one blonde and one gray-haired. "What's wrong?" she asked, biting her lip nervously.

"Honey," Donna said, rising to her feet and pulling Jael to the couch. She'd been crying; Jael knew that her mother liked Jimmy. Robert, her father, looked troubled and in shock. "sweetheart, the detective has some bad news."

Before Gutierrez could speak, the older blonde man in the Coconino County uniform stepped forward and said, "Park Rangers in the Grand Canyon National Park found Mr. Guhde's truck abandoned at Hermit's Rest. We believe that Mr. Guhde is somewhere in the park."

"Alive?" Jael asked, clasping her hands in her lap tightly.

"That's the question. We haven't found him yet, just his truck and this," Gutierrez replied, cutting off the other cop. The detective leaned forward and handed her a piece of paper. It was photocopied and had evidence marks on it. Silently, Jael read it.

To those who find this,

I'm hiking up into the Canyon to settle my life the only way I can. This world is so nova-centric that there is room for humans anymore. My nova girlfriend cheats on me, and it's not her fault. Clearly, I'm not enough for her. She's not the whore. I'm just out of my league but I shouldn't feel bad. It's just the way it is.

I'm not going to live in a world where she can do what she wants, and I have to be ok with it. I'm going to go deep into the Canyon, and I'll either fly out, or I'll leave for a better place. Either way, I'm doing this my way.

And maybe if I fly home, I'll be good enough for her world.

James Randall Guhde.

P.S. I love you, Mom, Dan and Mary. Don't be too sad; either way, I'll be happier.

"Oh, god," Jael said, her blue eyes filling with tears. And the worst part was that he was right. Not in the way that he handled it, but tonight had proven to her that he was right. There was no room for humans in a nova's world.

At least he was free now. One way or another, he was free.