Darkness memory swirled with mist sending ribbons of thought through the sleep of the dead. The mist nibbled at memory robbing details each night. Waking each night the subtle erosion of memory was all but undetectable, and yet over time memories grew indistinct then faded away entirely. Antoine rode the tides of the memory through the darkness. A recollection of his father, the first time he had sex, and hundreds or thousands of others. A new memory curled out of the darkness, the night three years before when he first met Ashe, the night that his Requiem changed from a somber funeral to a boisterous Irish wake. He reached out to the memory and let it wash over him. The mist reached out and began to rub away tiny details, Antoine cried out, his mind slapping the mist away.

Lying all alone and restless.
Unable to lose this image.
Sleepless, unable to focus ...

Antoine’s eyes fluttered open, I’ll never forget, never. He scowled, Is there anything I can do to hold that memory? Does it matter? Antoine raised his head and looked down the length of his body; sprawled across him was a woman, he knew not her name and neither did he particularly care. She had served her purpose, a momentary distraction and a meal, now her naked form was entangled with his own and her head rested upon his broad chest. Antoine cast his thoughts to his true love. Antoine ran his hand down the girls back, caressing her skin, feeling the reflexive . A typical Los Angeles wannabe starlet, body bronzed to perfection, hair bleached blonde, and thoroughly unaware of the realities of life. Despite her tan she looked pale to him. By contrast she was porcelain against his ebon skin, the blood he had fed upon was adding to that as well, making her skin more pale than it had been earlier when he had brought her back to his little apartment haven. He had had sex with her, and as she climaxed he had taken what he needed. Now she lay upon him, spent and unconscious.

Spent and sighing with that look in your eye.

The sound of a key sliding into the lock announced to Antoine that Ashe had returned. He smiled as he always did when he thought of her. The girl in his bed might have made it through the night alive but now he was unsure, Ashe was very … possessive of him and often his leftovers became her supper. In the years since they had met Antoine had learned how to handle the feisty Gangrel as much as she had learned to manipulate him how she liked. They complimented each other in ways that neither understood but both yearned for. The door to the apartment closed and the footsteps drew near to the bedroom. Antoine looked up to see Ashe silhouetted in the door by the light from the main room. Antoine smiled, he couldn’t help it, “Hello my dear, have you eaten?”


[Lyrics from Thinking of You by A Perfect Circle]

Frustration mixed with anger and a deep sense of revenge flooded Ashe’s mind. Yet another night wasted for that so called mentor and his constant bickering and lamenting about how much he regretted to have met her. If it wasn’t for that boon he owed her sire he would’ve recommended to kill her right away and be done with it. Now her dying nights in the city of Angels had turned out to be living hell for her… except for him… Antoine…

Tonight she didn’t care about her mentors errands she had to do. She wanted to be free – and if it only was for a few hours. Even if it meant to bear the punishment he would surely bestow on her for not fulfilling his deeds. She stalked the streets more like an animal than a human being constantly on the lookout for other predators. Sometimes she wished someone would make the mistake and attack her. She would let out all her frustration and anger at her assailant without remorse.

If it wasn’t for Antoine she would’ve provoked a breach of Masquerade long ago but now she had someone… someone to care for and who cared for her. Antoine was too valuable for her. He was that little freedom she had in this cursed city, only with him she knew peace and serenity.

She didn’t realize that her path led her straight to their small haven. As she walked the stairs up to their apartment she tried to ease her mind and get rid of the self destructive thoughts she had. Opening the door she instantly noticed that Antoine wasn’t alone, her beast immediately roared and she struggled to keep it at bay. Yet her canines elongated in anticipation and she tensed every muscle when she heard him speak.



Ashe slowly entered the room letting the door slide shut behind her. For a moment she hesitated unsure of the temptation to just let her beast go and quench her thirst and kill the girl for all the wrong reasons. Ashe didn’t answer but her struggle was clearly visible in her eyes.

Antoine looked into Ashe's eyes and could see the struggle within. Uh oh, bad night. He slide himself out from under the girl, though she had regained some level of consciousness she was dazed and confused from a mixture of blood loss, alcohol, and recreational drugs. Antoine paid her little mind instead crossing the room in a few quick strides. He picked Ashe up, cradling her in his arms as he kissed her. “Hello my dear,” he said, “Be calm, feed yourself from this girl, she can yet spare some blood for you.”

He carried Ashe to the bed, setting her down gently, “Take what you need, I will send her away when you are done and we can be alone together.” Antoine frowned, his disliked it when Ashe came home angry because that meant that her mentor had been abusive toward her. Be it verbally or, much less commonly, physical, Antoine found that he had to fight to help Ashe from slipping deeper into the claws of her beast on nights like this.

“I can’t…” Ashe said breathlessly, “I don’t want to kill her…, please… sent her away… before…”. Ashe’s beast growled and she looked pleadingly up to Antoine. “Please… feed me, Antoine. I can’t hold on much longer.”

Before Antoine could respond Ashe sunk her teeth into his wrist and sucked hungrily the precious vitae which was like ambrosia to her. With each draught she took her fury, fear and anger washed away setting her mind in peace. She felt his own heart starting to beat as it pumped his vitae through his veins and soon her own heart beat in sync with his… forever can be…

She remembered… she remembered when she first met him. The intense longing she felt and how much she desired to have him and taste his blood. It was the first night in her whole life when she felt truly alive. Even in her days as mortal which felt more like a faint and distant reminiscence she never felt like this, never realised what it meant. His blood mixed with hers and for the moment as their hearts beat in unison living made sense to her – her life made sense and she felt happy like a child.

Willing herself to stop unless she drained him completely she fell to her knees and cried like it was the first time.

Antoine looked at his wrist, a mixture of shock and concern. Good god what has that bastard said to her tonight? Antoine slide down onto the floor and pulled Ashe to him, wrapping her in his embrace he held her tightly. "My love what is wrong, what did he do this night?" Antoine's voice was laden with concern the obscured the rage behind it, "Help me understand. Help me to help you."

Antoine held Ashe, his embrace both loving and sercure, and wished impotently that he could do something to help her. Her sobs continued, her face pressed to his chest as she poured her grief out into him. "It's ok ... let it out ... I'm here." Platitudes that were little more than comforting words on the surface and yet beneath were promises that he would swear on his own soul if he could.

Ashe slowly came to and wiped away the last remnants of her tears. “I hate him so much, Antoine. He constantly teases me and knows exactly how to keep me on the edge provoking mistakes whenever I’m not prepared or defenceless. If I could I would kill him, but everyone would suspect me.”

She looked up at Antoine “Please, don’t you ever leave me, Antoine. I couldn’t bear this life without you. What am I supposed to do? I fear one day he’ll try to bond me to him making me his slave forever… I don’t want that. Don’t let that happen to me, Antoine.”

Ashe reinforced her embrace and laid her head on his broad chest closing her eyes. She wished she could hold on to him forever and run away from this hell on earth called Los Angeles

Antoine leaned his head down and kissed the top of Ashe's head, "I'll never leave you, only final death can keep me from you." Antoine gently lifted her face toward his, "I would sooner that you took my soul into yours than willingly leave you."

He kissed her allowing his lips to linger on hers for a moment. "I'll do whatever I can to protect you my love, no matter the cost to myself. I am no fighter but if there is anything I can do to help free you from that bastard I will do it." Antoine gave her a squeeze with his mighty arms, reassuring her that he would always be there to hold her, love her, and travel the halls of eternity with her.

Hearing Antoine’s deep voice with her head leaned on his chest Ashe relaxed to a point where she almost felt human again. She could still feel his vitae coursing through her veins and if she closed her eyes she actually felt what he said… how sincere his words were.

She looked over to the bed where the young girl was laying, “Another wannabe actress? Your taste is easy on the eyes, Antoine.” Ashe stood up and walked over to the bed tracing one finger along the girls naked legs. “I’ve drained you too much, my love. I can tell by your color.”

Kneeling down with one knee next to the girl Ashe reached down behind the girl’s neck and gently moved her to a sitting position offering her to Antoine by tilting the girls neck to the side. The pulsing Aorta almost glowed with energy and she knew that Antoine couldn’t resist much longer. “Go ahead… I’m ok.”

"They all pale by comparison Ashe," Antoine smiled wanely and put the back of his wrist to his forehead feigning weakness, "The price I pay for your love my dear, but I would gladly pay it again." He smiles and winks at Ashe as he moves back onto the bed.

Antoine pulls the girl to him as he reclines on the bed once more. A soft moan escapes her lips and her eyes flutter open. Antoine bends over her, whispering into her ear "Shhh, you've had too much to drink my lovely, let me take care of you."

Antoine wastes little time sinking his fangs into the girls neck and draining her of another couple of pints of blood to replace that which Ashe consumed. As he feeds the beast urges his to simply drain the girl dry, No one will miss her ... imagine the joy at feeling sated once more ... she is nobody and should be glad to give herself to you. Antoine pulled away from her, licking the wound closed while she still had enough blood to survive. Fuck off you monster, you don't control me! Snarling the beast retreated into the recesses of his mind once more.

Feeling restored Antoine phoned for a cab to take the girl away. Hanging up the phone he turned to Ashe, "We'll be alone soon enough, but we should find her purse, we'll need to know where to send her." Antoine looked down at the now completely unconscious girl, and chuckled, "Maybe I can find out what her name is too." Twenty minutes later the girl, Jessica, was in a cab heading to her apartment, the cab driver having been given far more than the fare to ensure that she made it into her apartment.

Relaxing once more Antoine reclined on the sofa, Ashe streched out on top of him as the soft sounds of jazz trickled out of the stereo. "It pains me to see you hurt night after night by that man. We should run away, flee to some other city. Find a new place where we can be free from your daemons."

Ashe sighed and savoured the moment laying stretched out on top of Antoine. She didn’t speak for a while not wanting to waste the rare time she felt warm blood flowing through her veins. Soon the warmth evaporated and the reminiscence of being alive fainted back into memory. With her hand spread over Antoine’s chest where his heart should be Ashe answered depressed, “Run away? Where to? I don’t know how to get out of this mess. I don’t know if I should hate my sire even more than my mentor… but he gave me this… life, or whatever it is. Do you know a way out of this?” a faint of hope was in her voice.

"Well I don't think an elaborate plan is needed to just flee outright. Unless you think that he'll follow you. I suppose I could see him enjoying that, he strikes me as the type to enjoy the hunt a little too much." Antoine lifted his dangling hand and tapped Ashe on the nose, "Then again if I were him I wouldn't want to let you go either. He probably thinks of you as quite a prize, you are right to fear him using blood magic on you."

Letting his head fall back Antoine stared at the ceiling, the paint was cracked and chipping, yellowed in spots from age smoke and damp. He closed his eyes focusing on the sensations of his body. The languid form of Ashe lying atop him was counterpoint to the spring poking into his leg and the bar that ran under his back. Suddenly the idea of fleeing from LA seemed especially attrictive, that it would also help to improve Ashe's life was reason enough itself but he realized that he was not happy here for any reason than because of Ashe. Had we not found each other I surely would have moved on by now. Perhaps this will be good for us both.

„I’m sure he would follow us… or blame my sire if he can’t get us. And even though I resent him I don’t want to add him on the list of possible hunters.”, Ashe craned her head trying to catch Antoine’s eyes and saw him watching the ceiling.

“Let’s go out and get ourselves distracted, maybe the beach? I’m going to get punished anyway so I should get the most out of this night before tomorrow comes.” Ashe’s smiled at Antoine with loving eyes which even the prospect of getting punished couldn’t cloud.

Antoine raised his head to look Ashe in the eyes. He sighed, he found he did that alot when she looked at him that way. It reminded him that despite everything she had been through Ashe still had the capacity to love. In its own way that validated his own feelings for her. Simple lust aside she made it easier for him to accept what he was. He didn;t have to pretend to be more, or less, human when he was with her. She loved him despite his nature, perhaps even because of it.

Antoine grasped Ashe's waist and pulled her up toward him until her face was even with his. Without a word, for no words were ever truly needed between them, he began to kiss her. He banished the worried thoughts from his mind and focused only on her soft lips, the feel of her against his body, pressing herself into him. Even the beast within was silent; as relentless as it was the beast could not contend with Antoine's night constant feeling of lust when he was around women. It seldom tried to overpower it, instead it waited and then pushed him to feed on his partner, to use a moment of pure affirmation of life to drain that very life from his victim.

Antoine was aware of the concept of diablere but he had never given it much thought, the beast had never pressured him to try and steal Ashe's soul. Consume her, make her one with his own soul. In it's own way the beast knew that Ashe was off limits. And yet despite that he had not been boasting, he would rather allow Ashe to consume his own soul if it were the only way to keep them from being separated.

For a while they simply lay on the couch, partially uncoiled springs and support bars banished to the far reaches of sensation. Finaly Antoine, broke their kiss; he had lost all sense of time, it was easy to do so when you no longer needed to breath, that unconscious rythm left the vampire detached from time as much as his humanity. He sighed, "That was nice, but you wanted to get out and have some fun. The beach would be nice, the moon is full tonight, it will be almost as though a sunlit day." He struggled to disentangle himself from Ashe's limbs which seemed to have found a way to maximize they skin to skin contact. Finally he decided to take the risk of reprisal and began to tickle her, "Let me up, I'm not going to the beach without at least a swimsuit on. I may be horny all the time but I do have some modesty."

Ashe squealed like a girl from Antoine’s tickles and she was tempted get back at him but she knew they would never leave the apartment if she began. Still giggling she virtually climbed off the huge man that she loved more than life itself and went to the bathroom humming a melody to herself she wasn’t aware of.

She always hummed something to herself whenever she felt happy or free. It was a habit she had from when she was a little girl. Her mother gave her piano lessons and she treasured that memory since it was the only time when she was happy as a child. Smiling and still humming Ashe picked a yellow Brazilian style bikini and put it on with her old worn daisy dukes. Ashe knew which effect she had on men, especially mortal men and she liked the ogling looks she got when she ‘dressed to kill’.

Her predatory nature skewed that perception though. The high she got from being desired was replaced by an hunters instinct. She didn’t try to get into a guys pants, she tried to suck his life from him, his blood. She couldn’t remember when her perception had changed or for that matter when she didn’t realise anymore that it had changed. She revelled too much in her predatory instincts that it felt natural to her.

Stepping out of the bathroom she presented herself to Antoine and made a little jump and spread her arms like a cheerleader, “Tada! Like it?”

Antoine stared, No point in trying to pretend otherwise, she knew when she put that on how I would react. Finally he breaks away looking longingly into the bedroom, "Are you sure you want to go out? I'm fairly certain we could keep each other entertained here." He shrugs and finishing tying a knot in the drawstring of his swim trunks.

"Ok you little minx let's go, we're wasting the night away and you know how bad I burn with my complextion and all." Antione shrugs on a very large Hawaiian print shirt, the kind that induces siezures in children and old people, and heads to the door not bothering to button it at all. Twnety minutes later the two are walking down the moonlit beach together the sound of the surf washing against the shore.

Ashe held Antoine’s hand like lovers usually did. She was walking along the shore dipping her feet into the water every once in a while. Looking melancholy at the moon she hummed again and imagined what it would be like to live somewhere else. Somewhere far away from this hell. Antoine would follow her, no matter where she would go.

“Do you think we can make it? I mean really run away… start over? I fear they would keep us hunting forever and I don’t want to spent the rest of my live with some bloodhounds on my neck.”, Ashe stopped and reached for Antoine’s other hand standing in front of him and looking up to his dark and beautiful eyes.

“Please promise me to bound me to you, before Lamont does… please.”

Ashe looked up into his eyes, Antoine looked at Ashe but her eyes were the last on a laundry list of destinations. In point of fact he was lost somewhere in the curves of her breasts when the rational portion of his mind managed to get his libido in a half-Nelson.



"Umm, wait, what?" Antoine sheepishly, and reluctantly, removed his eyes from Ashe's body to her eyes. "You want me to blood bind you?" Antoine felt almost sick, from what he knew of the blood bond it was akin to mental slavery, the bound vampire was emotionally tied to the binder, like a brainwashing victim. As he thought about it his legs decided independent of his brain to take a seat. Antoine's legs folded under him dropping him to the sand.

"I ... I don't ... know if I can do that." Antoine felt like somebody had stuck a knife into his gut, for the first time in a long time he wished that he had had more education as vampire from his sire. "I love you Ashe, you know that. But I want you to return my lone because you love me and not because of some mystical blood bond. I don't want to make you my slave; I want you to be my partner in this, my companion by choice." Antoine looked up at her, his hands all but engulfing her own. I his mind the libido tapped out and slunk back to get drinks with the beast while his emotional core blubbered incoherently. Meanwhile the rational part of his brain was piecing together a plan, one that would ensure that Ashe would be free to be with him until the end of days. All Antoine could do was look up at her, his eyes pleading her not to ask this of him.

Ashe felt Antoine’s pain and it surprised her seeing him almost collapsing under the weight of her request. Looking down at him she smiled warmly with love and dedication gently holding a cheek with her hand. “I’ve already fallen completely to you, my love. It just takes another night of drinking your blood and I shall be bonded to you.”

She reached down to his face with her other hand and cupped his face carefully like it was the most fragile gift in the world.

“I understand your fear of losing this… losing us. But if Lamont manages to bind me before you do, I’m lost forever… and I can’t bear that thought. I prefer being bound to someone who loves me than to a monster like Lamont. Can you understand that?, Ashe was fighting back tears. She knew she was asking too much from him but she saw no other way out of her misery.

“Once I’m bound to you I can withstand all the punishment and humiliation Lamont has in store for me because I will always feel you in my heart… forever.”, her beast stirred in the dark recesses of her mind. Being bound meant to lose freedom… freedom of choice. She knew she was only trading chains from one regnant to the other…

Antoine could barely hold on, the battle within him was chaos, arguments against fulfilling her wish were thrown against the simple pure love of her. He already felt his resolve weakening, she was scared, terrified, of losing herself to Lamont, and by extension losing her ability to love him. Antoine's heart got sudden reinforcements from his sense of selfishness, She's ours to love, not that prick of a mentor, bind her, ensure that our love can never fade.

As she cupped his face in her hands Antoine saw that she was nearing tears. She'll be little more than a doll for you if you do this, enthralled to her will she will no longer be the Ashe you love. The rational portion of his mind, being pulled down by his other emotions made one last plea for sanity. Antoine shuddered as tears came, If I do not do this I may lose her forever, unless I am willing to try and kill an elder. But if I do bind her what will be the result? If only I understood this more! Antoine pulled Ashe to him, guiding her down into his embrace, he looked her in the eyes and could see through the tears that she genuinely wanted this. She's accepted this, she is choosing submission to you, the one she loves, over forced submission to another. Can you truly deny her? Can you truly deny your love the safety and love that you know you would give her regardless?

His face pressed to hers, their tears mingling Antoine found himself unable to deny her, he loved her too much to risk losing her. She is willing to submit to the will of the one she loves most. And I know that I love her in return, what do I have to fear? Her life under a bond to me will surely be better than one under a bond to Lamont, the man is a sadist as best, a sociopath at worst. She's asking you for this, why is it so hard to say yes?

Because I do not know what will this do to me. Will I be able to resist steering her, controlling her like a puppet for my own pleasure? What if I grow to enjoy it? Will I become no more a monster than Lamont? Will it matter if she loves me when she has no choice any longer?

Does it matter? She loves you now, nearly unconditionally, how more could she love you now of her own free will. And still she asks for this, not just out of her love but out of fear for her own safety, fear that her freedom will be bound regardless. The devil you know. She is choosing you because she loves you, in her case the devil she knows is an angel in her eyes.

"Yes." Antoine hadn't realized that he had said it until he felt it exit his mouth. Hot and passionate, his face pressed against her own he said it again, and again. "Yes, yes, I will bind you to me, I will love you and care for you until the end of us." He kissed her and he cried. He cried for his lost humanity and he cried for Ashe's. He wept for he knew that there would be no going back, they would be bound in a marriage of blood far more powerful than any other.

Forever can be...
Something to bleed for...
And this is one of those times...