Well, the time is here. I have a few intensive treatments I gotta do here at the hospital before I get out. The doc says I still have some cleaning to do in the old noggin, so I'll be away for a week while I focus hard and seriously. I'll miss all you guys, even the digital ones! ^.~

Perhaps... If things go well, in a couple of weeks I'll get out. Untill then. Sayonara. ^.^

Thought I'd let you guys know.

Are you going to have hair like Frankenstein's bride when you get out? Pink with that kinky white lightning streak would look slash.

Take care.

Anyone buying this bullshit? Since when is mental illness cured overnight??? Oh excuse me, she's been in there, what?, a whole month now? Smells a little fishy to me.

There is a big difference between being cured and being well enough to use outpatient care.

Being discharged probably only means that she is no longer sick enough to have to stay in hospital. Just like you have outpatient care for physically sick people, you have it for those who need mental healing as well.

Don’t know you Endeavor, but I’ve been doing some reading on Psychology lately. Hope things go well.

So soon, she'll be considered "safe"? Imagine that.

My take has always been that Sakurako described her illness in much more dire terms than reality would suggest. Understandable considering that she was feeling stress and anxiety. Given that I would not blame her for exagerating her condition.

In all likelihood she simply needed a rest.

Okay, I'm sneaking 5 minutes of terminal time. Don't tell anyone.

Stigmata. Chill out. I don't know when I'm leaving. Just back off. I'm just hunkering down and getting some things straightened out. I may be here 'till early May. I don't know. Just chill out allright? Can't I be optimistic?

Oh... you're pissed off about what I said about Metro still aren't you? Didn't you gather from recent postings I've retracted a bit? Just back OFF... [Connection Terminated]

What a big girl it takes to be such a snot and then run away back to your little hospital. Fuck off you spoiled little brat.

No I'm not pissed in the slightest about your disrespect to dead people. I am only disapointed that you are allowed opnet access. If only we were granted the break from you that were lead to believe would follow your admittance. Let's hope this time isn't another let down.

I was more concerned about the facilities and treatment, it seemed odd to me that such progress has been made in such a small amount of time. Even with nova physicians, I wonder at the validity of all of this. The mind is such a fragile thing, easy to break, hard to fix right? Have we made that much progress with this sort of thing? I don't care for Endeavors case specifically, I don't know if it is a legitimate one. But I do care about what happens to mentally ill novas. It seems that more of us have "disorders" than would admit it. Do our disorders transcend even the concept of baseline illness? Are they comparable? Do we even need help? This isn't exactly my field so any feedback would be cool.

Wahtever, why don't you just tell me to just leave and not come back. It looks like I'm not welcome. If you want me to smeg off, why don't you just come out and say it. I'm not proud for what I've said, and I have been lectured here at the clinic on what I've said. Just because I have priveledges dosen't mean I'm not watched. Quite frankly I'm not too pleased you choose now when my future hangs on the edge of a knife to go on the offensive. Do you realize I have outside of treatnemts TONS of free time? And yes, after I was committed I have always been here at the clinic. I haven't "run back".

It seems after I can focus more attention to things here, there may have to be a lot of flames handed out. I'm just not in the mood right now. So, I'm going to take care of this before I start lurking.

Stigmata, shut up.

Okay, leave, and don't come back.

everyone else,
I hope thst this childishness that I partook in will not shy you away from the questions I have. I really am interested in your opinions or knowledge, or both.

Questions eh?

Ok.

You single?

Fine.

Opinions on being nuts? I have a stepmother diagnosed as obsessive/compulsive and an uncle that is no kidding paranoid. Its all real to them even when they know there is no reason for the way they act. Its like their mind can't tell facts from fears. When they take their meds it helps but that's not a cure. For novas... If the nova were smart enough, or manipulative enough, and had some strength of character they could probably play sane for a long time before you knew they were bat shit.

Look at some of the talks that have gone on around here lately. Some of these people just seem... Quirky or stupid, depending... They're rich, pampered, have a world waiting to hear what they think and it looks like the sun shines out their ass. That doesn't mean they're really crazy - just too rich, too bored and too brain challenged.

Then you have the ones that totally freak out when Mister Reality comes knocking. They rant, they rave and their claims get wilder with every word. Suddenly you wonder how you could have ever have missed the clues that they were bazonko nuts. I don't think a node drove them over the edge though. I think the crazy ones always were crazy but the juice lets them get crazier.

IMHO, what Endeavor needed was a vacation. No offense kiddo but you have always seemed to be running off in all directions. And as expensive as that clinic is, I would be surprised if it didn't have some nova doctors in there somewhere.

Cody,

RE: Sanity.
I didn't always have this much of a temper.

But you may be right about "paying the piper". My stamina is so high that I always figured that those kinds of rules didn't apply to me. But although my body can take having back to back missions, I've been getting concerned recently that my mind might not be able to.

I'm taking a working vacation from DVNTS and joining DV for a while. First thing I'm going to do is get my (medical) Doctor's license.

Quick sentence before I bail.

Trollster: None taken. You're 100% right on that one. At least, that's what I believe to be true. >.< *poof*

Sanity and novas? Think about it a second, folks.
1. We have a big ole tumor pressing up against our brains. In a physiological sense, that isn't healthy. The node presses the brain in on itself. It subjects the brain to all kinds of stresses, both physical and quantum.

2.We are dealing with powers and possibilities that we, as a race, have no prior knowledge of dealing with. The stress levels are considerable. We often feel seperated, anxious, alienated, and alone in that stress. We often lose contact with our old social groups and have trouble fitting in to any new ones. Humans, who we all come from, are very social animals. Being removed from that comfort zone can be very unsettling.

3. Folks, some of us change. Both inside (mentally) and out (our beloved physical aberrations). Wether you consider it a disease brought about by quantum backlash or poisoning, or you consider it a continuation of your evolution, it is happening. It pushes some of us to think outside of human norms. I don't think that is insanity, as much as trans-human thought. Ground no human mind has gone over before ... us.

My thoughts on the matter, anyway.

This what you were looking for Stigmata?

Man... Still not there. Had a mini-breakdown during one of my treatments. The head doctor here put me in a place that well... pushed a button... It was something I had either ignored, or had some lingering guilt about. I... Really don't want to talk about it in detail, but it deals with a situation between I and Stigmata I brought on myself. You see, I perhaps said some things... that may have been not only improper, but down right cold. After I had talked with my caseworker, I had some sort of connection between the guilt I do have with a lingering guilt I have had over another situation. The two lead to well... Me relapsing a bit. I don't blame Stigmata, I blame myself. I'm sorry, Stig, Metro. Sometimes we say things that are dumb. Perhaps that's why I'm here. I've got to learn to feel things out. God knows I've ignored my feelings long enough.

You need to change your life. This is no way to live.

Yes. That is absolutely true.

Luckily the doctors here say once I get past this set-back, I should be rolling up to 100%.

Then all I'll need is some outpatient sessions here and there. ^.^ I'm sure now I'm here just to make sure I'm coming around. I hope that what I'm gathering is correct. -.-

Dont' worry about me. I'm recovering quite well. ^.^

Endeavor, if your out aboun the seventh of may, would you come to my friend's birth day part.She is like a total fan of yours.I mean she has posters f you,and I think she wrote some mail to you as well.

Realy, I think it will be good party as well.Roumors that it will be in the four kings...

And aside form that I am if you haden't notice learning how to help people..

PS, get better ASAP.

I don't know. I guess what I'm wondering is if we really are "crazy." Couldn't it just be that maybe some of us are misunderstood due to our unique perceptions and quantum abilites? Because some of us seem to be more inhuman, I don't think that means they are ill. Is a baseline even capable of properly diagnosing a Nova's mental state?

Lemmy,
Yeah, it looks like I am.

Heh, cool.

You ever in Detroit you gimme a call. I know this kick ass resturaunt in Chicago. Nova only. Only like 6 tables. The chef is a nova.

Man, Ampwells and crank might just be water to me now, but the things that guy can do with a steak. Who needs drugs?

Well seeing how I go to Detroit about every two weeks or so, I guess you've got yourself a date. We'll see if you still want dinner after I work on you.

Psst... Don't tell anyone I said this outside of this thread, but the doctors are saying I might qualify to be an outpatient in 2 weeks. The reason why I want you to keep it hush hush is not to jinx it. ~.^ K?

BTW, if I can make the party, I might offer a little cruise for you and your birthday girl on the Hikari-Maru. ^.^ She seems a genuine fan, and quite safe and sane. Hope she don't get sea-sick.

Sweet Lovely Lady. I just got done getting all my previous work stripped off. Didn't want to get it laze'd, thought that stripping the skin would be cleaner. Worked.

Hurt like a mofo but you gotta love this super healing shit. I wanted to have a clean canvas. Have only work done since I erupted, representational stuff.

Talking about 'toos? As in Tattoos? Yeah, hanging around this rough place is wrecking my syntax, but anyone know how to make a tatoo a nova body won't erase with healing abilities? I had one done (Just my name in Japanese on my right shoulder) a little bit past a year ago, and it's almost gone now. It's practically illegible now. Any suggestions?

I've got different techniques for everyone. And what I do isn't exactly like a conventional tatoo. You could say I have my own exclusive ink, and the procedure is entirely different. My tools are an extension of my creativity. I haven't had any trouble with permanence.

I'll use him as he is someone you are somewhat familiar with as an example. Metro. He came to me made of concrete, and he's a shapechanger no less. I had to chisel him and seep into his skin unlike the normal flesh. I suppose if he was unhappy with the work, he would have rearranged his skin, but I believe the experience left a lasting impression upon him, that it became part of how he saw himself, therefore being part of his natural form. I can maintain the "ink" long enough that even the fastest of healers will heal the adition into the core of what they are. Are you following me? The concept is not so easily verbally expressed. And not something to take lightly.

I want!

Are you an inker working off customer artwork or do you customize to the person?

Endeavor.

I would reccommend against being in any close proximity to Delicious. You will have to trust me on that.

I look forward to your expedient and full recovery, insofar as you can recover at all.

Any my apologies regarding last week's visit. I'm so unused to the way people do things these days.

Stigmata.

My, what an abrasive woman you are. Remember, we can't all be as advanced and wise as you.

.ronin

Dude, did you just call her abrasive?

Pot and kettle man, pot and kettle.

I know your worries, that I do. I assure you that I'm seriously considering things. I'm not one to jump in head first. Delicious is quite an enigma, but I doubt a meeting in a very public place would be dangerous. But yes, there are... things about her that I cannot place.

But, then again, I've been known to be paranoid and overcautious. It's kept me alive this far.

d'oh... Just re-read the message...

You are referring to her psycho-sematic migranes around novas? Don't worry, I think being dormed around her should do the trick.

Although I look quite underage with the lights off. -.-

So Sakurako 'Endeavor' Hino... You spent time swallowing jagged little pills, talking with white coats and trusting opnet connections.

What have you learned?

Re: Stigmata (nova nuttiness)
There's going to be novas that were crazy before they started tossing quantum. Unless it was biology they are probably going to be nuts afterwards too. Then there are novas that are going to crack under the pressure like Sakurako 'Endeavor' Hino. Maybe they will get the help they need and recover. Maybe they will just learn to act 'normal" so they don't get locked up.Some really are going to hear voices in their heads telling them all the angels are dead and getting crazy or crazier wondering what angels are.

But you're right.

The tricky ones are the novas *different* after eruption. They seem crazy but only because we can't see or hear what they see or hear. Its not in their head - its quantum and power. It's real but we can't share it with them. If reality is what the majority believes and those different are crazy, what does it mean when the different ones can control reality?

The problem is going to be telling the bazonko crazies from the ones that see what we can't.

PS - I still want that tat'. Who designs it - you or me?

Cody, I decided to re-arrange some priorities and at least stop this self-destructive habit of darting off at the newest windmill. Sooner or later the excessive amount of activity got to me.

Now... I just want to realax. Let things simmer and brew. I'm not content for the quick fix because that is just a kitbashed solution to a greater problem. I'm taking my sweet assed time now. So don't honk.

Although after this... I really should take some anger management classes. No, really! ^.^

And... perhaps find some way to make up for things with Stiggy. I really thought we've gotten off on the wrong foot, and I have said things that now I'm VERY sorry for. At least I can say that. I'd rather apologise in person, but my travels are rather restricted at the moment.

Lemmy.

If you see my honesty as abrasive, it is only because you find deceit so palatable.

Endeavor.

I was not, in fact, regarding Ms. Delicious' migraines. I would still advise you to keep a good distance from her. But you can do what you will. I mean only to offer you advise as I see it.

And I am of the mind that you seem a very mature, strong, beautiful young lady, even when dormant.

.ronin

Ronnin,do you even know me?Do you know what I cna do?Do you know what was causing the head aches?It hink I do, but that is still somethign I do not know.

NOw really, I just help people.It s it is I have the powers to look inside of people's minds and I can see what is going wrong..I then can do what I cna to help.I am not doc,but I can at least help people in seeing if they have problems,and as Dr. Joan Bush says , sometimes the biggest problem with the brain is finding what the problem is.In all other medical feilds you can see where the blood is flowing, but in the vast feild of them mind, that best most people can do is guess.

ANd if you find it so wrong that I Would want to help someone,and make sure they are alright,then you my friend can go sit on it,and rotate.I have no ill will towards her,and I do not think I could make her do anything she did not want to do.

ANd last lastly my friend is a big fan of her.I would like to make sure my friend gets somethingt hat would make for the fact that she ...Oh you do nto need to know this, it wouldn''t change anything and your tears,if you had any would be not be wanted.

Yeah, really! You were the one that tried to bite my head off.

Glad to hear its working for you. Next time you want to get away try Montana. Lots of fun if you know or want to learn how to ride. Really beautiful country up that way.