Hey again, everybody. It's good to be back around, even after everything. With all that's been going on, coming back here almost feels like "normal", whatever that is.

Some of you may have heard about Tn2M's latest action, the one going on in Burundi. I was part of the detachment that had been sent, and we'd been helping with flood relief. The rains had really hit the capital, Bujumbura, very hard, and Lake Tanganyika overflowed its banks, wiping out more than half of the lower city, where all the poor folk live. We were working on getting the waters down to more manageable levels when some elites from Congo came over and started making trouble. We still haven't figured out why, but

Guys, I'm really sorry. I've been back for two weeks now and this is still really hard to discuss. You can't just pretend nothing happened after seeing things like that. I'm sure Mr. Very Bad and some of you combat vets like Mr. Ronin and Mr. Jager could have handled it, but I'm still having a lot of trouble dealing with some of the things I saw. It's so...dammit. I just don't know.

For god's sake, that bastard, Creature, he must have done something...something to the cobras in the lake. There's only supposed to be a small number of storm's water cobra in the lake, but there were thousands crawling around one morning. All those children bitten and dying, their faces and arms all swollen and black, and...god, I just don't know, anymore. It's so hard to remember, to even think about.

God, how do you guys do it? How did I??

Some people revel in the destruction they create. Others compartmentalize that experience or part of themselves into a dark place within, only bringing it out when they need it. Still others have their own way of dealing with it.

I do not have a simple solution for you. All I can tell you is you learn how to deal with it in your own way. Those who do not tend to stop dealing with any kind of stressful situation and some even crack. But like Jager's signature implies, the important part is living with your involvement and yourself.

I'm not much of a combatant, so all I can say is this:

Ask yourself, if you (just you, not Tn2M) hadn't been there, would more people have died?

I'm sure you did the right thing. I'll be express mailing a package to the area, hopefully it can help.

This is why Team tomorrow needs to have a elite style attachment to it's ranks, Utpoia seem to send people out to danger areas which out proper recon and the proper training in self defence and population defence.

Next call Devires and ask for me, I'll watch you backs.

Although the Congo elites did know how to hit you guys, half the battle is psychology

Stephanie, the first thing you need to remember is that it is in the nature of Project Utopia's agenda to "be on the defensive." Meaning that you and yours will doing your jobs (relief/security/escort) and will be the ones attacked. This will put you at a disadvantage, obviously.

There is also the bureaucratic mindset that says "a nova with destructive powers can fight". Going into combat is as much a matter of psychology as power. Elites chose that line of work. They accept the reality that they will be in situations were they will have to attack and kill people.
BTW, that is why your handlers at T2M put you into the situations you are in. If you don't think so, why don't you re-examine the history of Central Africa for the past 15 years. Try the past 50 for that matter.
Blood, death, and tears.
I am not saying you, or PU, shouldn't be there, but that you should very much realize that you are treading on very bloody ground.

From a tactical point of view ... it looks like one nova provided a pretty good distraction for five Teen2Mers. Not my thing, but I have seen enough like it in previous actions.

The important thing to do as a security consultant is understanding how to not make the same mistakes again. While it means working through them, it also means being able to be more effective the next time something like it happens.
Not to imply that you weren't.

Miss Hu Zhan, I am sorry that your humanitarian effort ended so bad. But you must think it´s not your fault at all. It´s very difficult to plan for all contingencies. But I think that your bosses at PU had to know it would occur something like that and plan ahead. It´s a very bad move to send a group of novas without combat experience to this part of the world. Even if it´s only to a relief mission.

Some of us dealt with it through therapy, some with lots of amp-wells, and some by ignoring it and letting it fester.

Don't do the last. Find one of T2M's therapist(s) you can relate to.

Smith, you are only telling her two means of dealing a problem with many ways of handling it.

Time can be a good thing,friends can be a good thing, so can therapist(s), then so can studying it. Then again all of these answers can turn out wrong, because we are all deferent,we all deal with things in our own way. By sending her to to a shrink to soon you may do more damage than good.

Jesus [censored] Christ. I saw that [censored] footage, an' that Creature guy is a [censored] sick puppy.

Wish I'd'a been there, girlfriend. Ain't no one who can whip up a storm quicker than me, bar Splash, of course, an' maybe I push his luck inta somethin' bad.

Mother[censored].

I hate feelin' helpless. Wish I knew how ta help ya better, girlfriend.

Actually I said three, but your point is sound. Other people unburden themselves to priests, still others through lots of meaningless sex.

Stephanie, In general there are constructive and destructive ways of dealing with it. Don't hurt yourself.

There we disagree. It is evendent that this is bothering her, and she realizes that enough to post it. She should act before a little problem becomes a big problem.

Shut the hell up, Cherry.

Until you've been through what Team Tomorrow puts us through, don't say jack about how she shouldn't see a shrink.

If I'd gone to see one, maybe I'd still be with T2M today.

Honestly, I've never been fond of the Elites out there who focus on baselines. They tend to be all about the money or just getting off on the terror. Give me a real opponent any day. Give me a nova, give me someone who'll be a challenge. Sorry for what you saw Ms. Zhan, but that's the world out there. It isn't always pretty, even when you're fighting for the better tommorow. Take Troll's advice. Get in touch with someone to talk to, someone who can get you over the rough patches. Dealing with battle is never easy for a first timer, and it sounds like you got an eyefull of some real horror.

Saimhe,Dervish you missed the whole point of my post,and you do not know me. I saw the footage,and yes it was sickening. It was horrid thing. I was not saying what actions she should or should not take. I was simply saying that some times those anwsers are not the best ones, and they are not the only ones.

Saimhe, I have seen the insides of third world waste lands.I have seen the results of people with too much power and not enough morals. Talking to a shrink, was rather alienating, taking time to thinks over,and talking to my friend got me to understand and deal with the problem.

What the fuck ever, sweetheart. I think you're so full of shit that you suffer from verbal diarrhea.

No matter how many warzones you've seen, you don't know what it's like to be a T2M'er until you become one.

Just shut the hell up, okay? You make an effort to avoid Utopians and government authorities, and despite my differences with them, that means you have something to hide.

So tell me, when did you see these fucking warzones, honeybunch? At least the rest of us are speaking from documented experience.

I didn't say nothin' about ya, fruit-loop, so don't direct that crap to me. I was just sayin' that I wish I could help her better an' that I'd been there.

What kinda name's Blue Cherry anyways? Ya hold yer breath till your cherry popped from the effort?

[Censored]. Hundred laps around the flying course, oh joy...

Saimhe take a deep, deep breath.
One doesn't have to be a T2Mer (or Teen2Mer) to have an understanding of battle stress. You belonged to an elite organization, but not the only one by any means.

Dervish, post here and expect a response from just about anybody, so calm the fuck down.

A Blue Cherry is a drink at the Amp Room, nothing more. I'm not sure why someone would take that as a name, or accept it as a handle, but I've heard of worse.

Blue, if you have some secret understanding of Teen Tomorrows inner workings, please let us know. Otherwise, let's give their organization a chance to reach out and help one of thier own. Of all of us, Parks probably has the best grasp on what it is to be a teen-hero under these kinds of pressures.

Well, do I have something to hide?Yes, yes I do. Does that make a bad person, well that depends on who you ask.

As for my name, I got it as a nick name do to the fact I wear a lot of blue and do not like cherries. The drink was named after me.

And Jager, the drink was named after me. It doesn't taste a thing like cherries. But back to my main point, there are many ways for to deal with stress. I repeat that I was only saying there are other ways, not that she shouldn't have done anything.

Honeybunch, you're dodging my question.

Spit it out or shut the fuck up. I'm sick of you and your 'I'm an enigmatic hardass who knows everything' shit.

Saimhe, BC isn't worth it. She's just baiting you. She's as enamored as ever to attacking you, and getting you hot.

Just stay frosty and ignore her.

Well, Seeing as Codex is so intent on my past, look the files I put up on my things of interest web site. It has files of me on film in Santa Mary, after it was hit by "freedom fighter", who were killed by a third party during the act of setting the town on fire. You will see me in the back ground build and repairing houses. There are also numerous sound files of me calling in criminal acts, ranging from ranging from "Christ" setting fire to :muder clinics" in the bible belt, to drive by shootings, and novas wanting to see how many times they could get an SUV to flip. And there are many clips of people who claimed to see me engaged in battle with novas ranging from The US, too the cape of no hope. But really Codex, if you want more details and dates, you will have to talk to my lawyer.

I can barely decipher your posts, girlfriend...

Okay, so maybe you are a do-gooder. But Jager has a point...

How do you know so much about Teen/Team Tomorrow, or presume to? It's more than just offering advice on dealing with combat stress, sweetheart, what you're saying. It's almost as if you were a T2M'er at one point...

Do you know what's interesting? Your posting style reminds me of Agnelli Celeste, the Tn2M'er who went rogue.

To quote the infamous Australian politician Pauline Hanson:

"Please explain."

Look

Holocaust, alot of good points were put out there before it digressed into a pissing contest between the femmes. I don't know their past, and frankly i don't wanna get into it.

Doctor Smith has a good head on his shoulders. the point he was trying to make was, don't let it eat at you. don't end up like some of these pathetic idiots on here, feeling hollow.

know what you did was a great thing, and made an impact on people. some people were hurt and killed, but you were there trying to help. believe that they saw you there.

and finally, if it really bothers you. find someway that you're comfortable dealing with it. therapist, priest, boyfriend, journals, whatever works for you.

but what do i know? i'm just a muscle bound college jock.

Stephanie, feeling any better on your ability to cope with this? Take care of yourself, hear.

There are several bad lessons in this.
One that may be overlooked is this-

Do not claim to defend what you can not defend, or avenge.

It is a sin to let them believe you are their caretakers, when you are not. We do not exist for them.

I'm not ashamed to fail. I'd only be ashamed if I couldn't be bothered to try. Hang with elites much?

You'd fit in.

And the worse part about this ordeal is the fact she will handle the next horror show she sees with a lighter heart than the one she saw here. She will never be the same.

No, little brother, I would not fit in. A few elites may share my beliefs, but I doubt most do.

There is nothing wrong with try and failing, unless you make a habit of it. It is a shame that you fail because you let other, less capable, beings hold you back from succeeding.

I am a Terat. I see nothing wrong with helping, protecting, and teaching baselines. It is something I chose to do. I see it as part of my destiny as a nova.

It is a mistake to assume that all Terats are your natural enemy.

How did you put it Bastian? Just another of way of saying don't bother with what you can't succeed one your own terms or at least make someone pay the penalty for your failure? I'd think you'd fit in just fine with that attitude. And I didn't feel need to throw a match into a pile of rags or screw over somebody because they use the same brand of matches.

I'm not like you or your friends.

Whoa. Steph, Holocaust...Let me apologize for the coverage of that whole event with the cobras...The television stations don't really like to think of you Utopia people as "real" people sometimes.
Since no one officially took credit for the snakes the standard 2 Minute Hate whack-jobs have been fighting for the right to say it was their's once the footage started bringing in the ratings. On top of that...the footage was traumatically popular.
Sick world on more than just one level.

Wait. I'm being serious. You people are contagious...
What Nova doesn't have a drink named after them somewhere? There's a cult of personality thing linked to most us. I recommend getting the N! BarteNding Guide (or whatever they call it) if you don't already have it. I also recommend the the Cherry Bomb since it tastes a hell of a lot better than my drink...which seems to have been created on a dare by sophomores. Blue Cherry? My favorite Fanta flavor.
Um, and Blue Cherry: Who the hell is "Evry Truth"? Is that short for Everett?

No. That is not what I am saying.
For starters, if you promise to protect someone, and another takes their life, you have not failed unless you do not try to punish the transgressor. You must acknowledge the powers of others, just as they must acknowledge you and your power. Accept the fact that you do not act in a vaccum. You live in a world full of novas.
Do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, nor let others stop you from doing what you feel is right.
That is the principle of self-governance. It is not saying "I can do whatever I like", but saying "I will do what I will, with the acceptance that there will be consequences for my actions". The former is selfishness. The latter is self-responsibility.


You do not understand me, it seems. Nor, are we as different as you would believe.

Hmm... A case of cats and dogs perhaps.

Then don't say that. As someone with no special talent for languages that's had to learn two in the last couple of months I know the spoken or written word isn't always clear. Take your time, think about what you really want to say and then say it. You should be fine.

Maybe you're right. Or maybe I don't understand the man you want to be but see the man you are.

Hard to say. Time will tell.

Perhaps you might both consider that idealists are often their own natural enemies. One of you is in greatest probability correct while the other is misguided and simply projecting an internal view on their external world.

Now which is which....

You willfully misinterpret what I say, and then claim its my fault?

Take your time, think about what you really want to say and then say it. You should be fine.
Can I hope that you followed your own advice?

Okay.

You really are a vicious little bitch, aren't you? All civilized, moneyed, educated, and now out to save your world.
I have known your kind of "good samaritian" most of my life. Your kind even helped me erupt.

Not "save" the world.

...

Telepath aren't you? It all goes your way when you're in someone's brain but a simple conversation in another medium and suddenly it all falls apart. Lashing out. Becomes just about you. Say what you mean or mean what you say. Might not seem like a big thing now but I think it will be eventually (that's just best guess).

I'm sorry about your pain. That doesn't mean I'm going to put up with your crap.

What would you call it?

Yes. Did you figure that out on your own, or did you have the vast Utopian bureaucracy help you?

No. Being a telepath allows me to cut through all the veiled insults, double-talk, and false faces. Telepathic rapport brings about honesty and openess, TAG. It also rapidly exposes the opposite. Taking that experience over to verbal communications is child's play.

Not really. Your condescending attitude raised its ugly head first. You have made this about you, and your skewed world view.

But I do, TAG. I do. You either can't, or won't, understand me.
And, again with the condescending insult. Typical.

I sincerely doubt it. You are so used to being false-faced, after all.

In that, we can agree. I don't plan to put up with your crap either.

.....

A Natural Disaster struck.
Project Utopia told the people effected to not worry about responding to the crisis with their own abilities and resources They would take care of it, and them.
Another group of novas attacked (I don't know why), and the people pinned in by Utopia became victims of this nova attack.
Utopia said it would save them, and they are now dead.
Utopia promised => Utopia failed to deliver.

I don't blame the novas in Teen2M for this. I don't expect them to stand up to teams of elites.
I do blame the baseline thinking behind this failure for placing the novas in this situation, then binding their hands with what they could and couldn't do.

If novas are going to defend and protect baselines, they should do it on their terms, not the terms (and limited by the thinking) of baselines.