No, no this is not the right place to go. I know. I don't need to be told that. They said you'd tell me that. They said it's probably too late, but I might find someone here.

I think I have a very, very bad problem. Definitely. I'm sure. They agree.

I was very normal recently... I'm almost sure, but not quite. I'm not like anything any more. It isn't right.

I don't know what to do now. I can't go where they said you'd tell me to go. They said I would never come back. They said to hide.

I'm not like me any more. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone else. They said they didn't mind... but I'm not sure they're entirely sane. Any more.

Calm down. You aren't making any sense.
Start slow and keep your answers simply:
Who are you?
Where are you?
What is the nature of your problem?

Tell us that much and perhaps we can actually help. Preston's right, just calm down and explain your situation to us.

"Ryu, are we gonna die?" "Probably."

Ronin said he would come. They told me I shouldn't bring anyone else. They said I would probably be taken away no matter who came.

Is Ronin safe?

I don't remember which name is mine, and they won't tell me. I'm sure they know though. I hope I'm Howard or maybe even Claire... as long as I'm not Philip. There's something wrong with Philip. But he did say 'Shoggoth' was a good name to use now. He thought it was funny. The others didn't seem to mind.

I remember a fire. But it started somewhere else. The doors weren't locked, for some reason. Everything else isn't clear enough. I was some kind of liquid. Sort of. I still am. Black. It's not right.

Some of the others saw me and tried to run back into the fire. I moved after them to bring them out. They said I shouldn't think about what happened, after that. It was bad. I think maybe I should have let them go back to the fire. But they're here now. They say they don't know if they'll go away or not. They say they like it here.

You need to calm down. Preston and Long are right. If you slow down, tell us some more information I think that we, as a community, can find a way to help you. It's happened before.

Where are you? Are there other people around you? Do you think you are in danger?

Dude, he isn't necessarily capable of speaking coherently. Some of us get pretty fucked up.

They said telling everyone where I am was a bad idea. The people that would take me away could see it. I just told Ronin where I am when he asked. I don't know if he's safe and they don't know either. But it was better than waiting.

I'm hiding. There's nobody here but me and them... and they're not anywhere but me, I don't think. Any more. I'm afraid someone else might find me. I don't want to put anyone else with them, but I couldn't help it the last time.

Dr. Gray says I should tell you... he thinks I erupted under a disassociative fugue. I think I should know what that means, but I don't remember. He says I'm suffering from acute quantum backlash disorder.

Philip said to tell you to bring a mop. He thinks that's funny.

We are being trolled, Alex. These posts are clear, without spelling or serious grammatical error. Deliberately written as stream of consciousness, but stream of consciousness such as what is being shown to us does not translate to the written word as well as it does to the incoherence of spoken word.

This is constructed and scripted. Someone desires to tell us a story and observe our reactions, and thus we are being told one. We saw similar events unfold in much the same way when Angel Teen first appeared.

Claire says I should run the spell checker before I send anything, but I haven't made many mistakes. I left the second u out of fugue.

Philip says your post means you want me to tell you where I am. Or you mean what you said. He won't tell me which.

I mean exactly what I wrote, nothing more. Whether or not you reveal your location is of no concern to me.

Let's hear what ronin has to say. He's a big boy and capable of taking care of himself.

There is enough in Shoggoth's first post to put me on edge, and I'm usually one of the first to lend a hand.
Too much using "they" when its convenient and then following up with the use of names only when its pointless.

In retrospect, I may have approached this matter rather inelegantly. I certainly acted in haste, but I feel that misstep, among others, was justified given the circumstances. I am letting Dr. Gray talk for me now. I trust the result will be greater coherency.

I have no wish to be anyone's problem, and certainly not an irritant to any present company. My concern is that the nature of my eruption and actions taken immediately thereafter will have significant consequences once registered by official channels.

However, I now fear I have few options preferable to facing those consequences. This leaves me with the initially stated issue of having no idea what to do.

For now I will wait for Ronin.

That may be true. But I don't know that. I'm just trying to help him the best way I can. He should, of course, be careful with his responses. We wouldn't want him to get hurt, but with a title like "Help?" it sounds like he already is.

Shoggoth-Waiting for ronin sounds like the best idea right now. If he knows where you are and knows what is going on then perhaps he is the most capable of helping you. We are a group of many talents. If you need legal advice someone can do that. If you need to be transported somewhere someone can do that. And if you need to hide, I can help you with that if you need it.

Shoggoth Judging by what you've said it sounds like Dr Gray is right. You've had a complex and difficult eruption, the quantum fairy decided that you would be much better off as some sort of Cuthuloid monstrosity (ask Philip). My normal advice to new eruptees is that with a good lawyer you can usually get off any charges relating to your eruption on the grounds it was an Act of God, an accident. This might not be such great advice in your case. If you've been responsible for multiple 'deaths' and you're high in taint energy you might spend the rest of your days locked down in some Utopian Nova Evaluation Facility.

Despite the reservations of those who are much wiser than me as to the authenticity of your story I say your best bet lies with the Teragen. They are philosophically equipped to help you understand what has happened and come to terms with it. But then again I would say that

I have little to add to this. I agree entirely with Conduit and Walker, and partly with Ashnod as well.

I have two recommendations. First, pick a name other than Shoggoth if you want to become more human. Names have both power and meaning, and that name's meaning and power are both entirely inhuman.

Second, talk with Prodigy. From what little I can glean from your ramblings, he should have some very pertinent and probably unique insights into what you've become.

Until it is shown otherwise, then, I will assume that I am Howard. Claire suggested 'Inky' but I am inclined to agree with Alchemist. Anonymity is scarcely an issue by now, I imagine.

Philip is rather enthusiastic both about the name he came up with and the Teragen. This is cause for caution regarding both in my opinion (no offense intended toward shoggoths or teragen members).

I feel compelled to note that my decisions are very much based on consensus at this point. My initial difficulties thinking and communicating were largely because I was doing so by committee. Things are getting better now.

Hello, Howard. I have errupted recently myself. It is an experience unique to each of us, dictated both by the self, and the circumstances.

You seem to be in a safe place, physically, right now. But your mind and probably your emotions, are both greatly troubled. Perhaps I can help you sort this out.

What is it like, talking to them? Who is in control? Do they all have names, and memories, or just personalities?

If I could get some people to ride shotgun with me on this one, I would like to help out.

One of the problems here seems to be that if (Howard?) is tainted enough to be deemed a potentialthreat to baseline society, Project Utopia may put him in a special facility and limit his choices.
The Teregan has good people in it, but many also have their own goals/agendas that could equally limit (Howards?) options.
If a few of us unaligned novas (or novas who are willing to forgo their alleigences for the moment) could get together and help out, (Howard?) will have the best chance to be himself.
Anyone with me?

Btw, Ramone, how are you doing? Smaller world, isn't it?

I am well enough, Neil. And yes, it seems much smaller now than it used to be.

I think, perhaps, that it might be best to let Howard? sort out who and what he is on his own, and then help him deal with that. Exposing him to many conflicting voices is not what he needs right now (it is a problem he is already dealing with, most likely).

If this is who I think it is don't think for one second things have changed. Change your name or decide you have MPD and I could care less. Have fun playing more of your silly little games just stay hidden behind Ronin, you will need to.

(pardon the threadjack) I found my world to be much larger after erupting, considering the endless possibilities available to us.

Neil and Howard?:

I might be of some help. Aside the mundane and baseline resources I can bring to bear, I have made a number of contacts since my eruption that can help.

Jeez. A little compassion, Totem. The guy sounds like he was, and maybe still is, a little special. You know? Besides, if he just erupted how would you know him already?

Doc, do your voodoo and good luck. I hope you can help him. He sounds a little... I don't know but it doesn't really sound good.

Because this is a lie and a game Tarot. I know the stench of rotten Calmari when I sniff it and this has it written all over it.

You shouldn't have came back.

Doc seems okay with the guy and he's the one that thinks highly of you. So why don't don't you educate me on this too.

*shrugs*

If it's Charr, may he be deep-fried in the deepest pit of hell.

Mmmm, deep-fried calamari...

You people are so odd sometimes.

I'm trying to be cautious about this whole thing.

Howard?: I can help you to stay hidden for a while, if you're not comfortable with either Utopia or the Teragen. Neil and Ulysses also want to help you, but you need to decide if you trust us. If you are willing to do that, when and where can we meet you?

Neil and Ulysses: My talents may not be all that valuable in this case, but I'm willing to go along when and if you meet Howard?.

Tarot, were you home-schooled?

Charr's an old buddy of mine. He was indirectly responsible for me losing it and being shoved out of Utopia.

I regular rip up little plushies of him and chew on calamari whenever I come across an old post of his.

Mmmm... Calamari rings...

No, Doc. But PS114 didn't have the Figuring Out What They're Talking About From The Vague Hints They Drop course as an elective.

Public school. What can you say?

Thanks Saimhe. You can pass on to Totem that I now officially have my first clue.

One would think living on an ocean would keep the price down on squid... Ah well, it is good to be well invested.

Odd.

When I hear someone talking "crazy-talk", it first occurs to me that I should figure out who they are, then decide if I should get on their case about what they are saying.
Like going to someone who might know him and say,
"Is he a psycho, or is he just blowing off steam?"


Charr ...
Fuck it. Even if it is him, I should still help.
Yeah, I wanted to see him dead right after the Quantum Fountain Incident, but I would like to think I'm a bigger person than that.
Even if it is still him, I'm still in.
We should still try to help one another, no matter who they are or what they did in the past.

Surf and turf, honey, surf and turf.

Neil, I respect ya, but this is a guy who chose to seriously fuck up some people, both nova and baseline.

Sure it ain't just better to fry him up and serve him with a side-platter of chips and tartare sauce?

I guess we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Count me in Neil. Let's help whoever this guy is sort it all out. As for if it's Char, We can burn that bridge then too.

People threatening me: Other people must have figured out where I am by now, but nobody has come yet, that I know of. After seeing what I do to people, I will not try to defend myself. I do not want any more of them than I already have. I would just ask that people make sure I am who they want to hurt before they do.

Ramone: Dr. Gray says I am in shock. I am not sure about that, but I do not feel as much panic as I think might be appropriate all things considered. I am concerned by the fact that none of the others seem concerned at all after what happened. I have names, personalities and memories, but they all blend together unless I concentrate or one of them really wants to say something specific. I can not tell which memories are mine.

Hearing them is like thinking to yourself. I think they can talk to each other without me knowing though. It is them and me. Definitely not 'we', though I do try to listen to them. I am mostly in charge. They are too happy.

People offering to help: Thank you. Ronin has not come yet. If anyone else does, will it be quiet? Things have been bad here already. I do not want anyone else to get hurt. Somewhere to think longer safely would be good. If I do end up with the authorities, will things be worse for my not going right away?

I know a place pretty far removed, it'll give you all the time you need. There are some good people who can help you sort it all out, but you'll have to allow us to take you there, the first step on that path is telling us where you are.

Careful about burning bridges, especially with Charr. From what I understand, you'd be a match, and he'd be a candle. You'd start the fire, but he'd burn brighter and longer then you would. He's just not human...probably never was from everything I've seen about him.

I'v read alot of his old posts he's one tough customer. I don't mean to sound like I'd try and fight him, was just using a figure of speech. Trust me I know just how limited my power really is.