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#37726 - 07/28/05 12:55 PM
Re: I am rather new to this part of being a nova.
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Nova
Registered: 12/05/03
Posts: 381
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I did not intend to come off a as a kegger,I am simply not used to what most people would consider social interaction. In the past four and half years being a nova I have spent a total of 17, 24 hour periods in witch I was not training, working in the field or spending time in a medical facility. For the majority of said time I honestly could not express or feel any emotions. Prior to that I was in the US armed forces for seven years, again I did not spend much time not working. I am not looking for pity, I am stating facts. I am married to my job, and my job doesn't reward people for being socialable.
I know people. I know how people act. Or rather I know how they react. That is something I have to know. I just am more at home in the middle of a war zone than I am at a party. I wish to change this. I am not wishing to throw a party for people to get wasted, or drunk or whatever. I do wish to let people take any and all stimulants they need to relax, or take the edge off. I know that novas tend to need and want different things to archive said goal. I believe when people are less than sober they are less critical of mistakes .I really wish the people at my party are going to be in a forgiving nature, as right now I have less fear entering a tribal war in the middle of Africa than throwing a party. Now if you can't understand why I would feel this way, I am happy for you. Hell if you can understand how I could be this way but never or only used to feel the same, that's good too. If you are like me, well don't it suck?
I know my past. I know how most people have seen me. I am not the olive branch type .I have killed novas, women and children. I am not the nicest person on earth. I am what I am and I am trying to change, but I would be damned if I said if it was easy. I 30 years old and the last 11 and a half years or so I have been learning more ways to be less humane to my fellow creatures. So I ask all of you to stay calm and let me help me with this, because I honestly have forgotten things I know I need to know.
Now that that is said I will look into the amounts of drugs and toxins. I will not remove them but I will have people making sure that no one gets to intoxicated to control there actions.
I am still free for ideas and or questions. I will do y best answer or compile to either as long as they are reasonable.
_________________________
I want you to make me feel like I am on fire.
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