Cuz he's a dick.

Your public approval rating has risen. Interesting.

What can I say? I'm a sexy, likeable guy.

You should host a telethon.

Please.

Please give to Reven's Kids.

I dunno, it just doesn't have the kick that 'Jerry's Kids' does.

Then go get a megamillion ticket tonight and hope you are one in twentyseven million on the odds. Best thing I can suggest. (also if you do win because of my suggest a 10% finders fee would be acceptable)

If it helps, I've got your t-shirt Revvie.

Yes Procyon.

It helps.

You see that everyone? He loves me.

Not all of us can be Prestons! Some of us have to scrape together everything they have just to make a buck in this crazy crazy world!

So please... open your hearts and wallets and buy a Revvie T-Shirt today.

For just 37 easy payments $19.99 you could own your very own Revenant T-Shirt.

Operators are standing by.

Offer not valid anywhere. May induce vomiting, coughing, choking, sneezing, bashfulness, dopyness, grumpyness, and in rare cases Doc.

A T-shirt eh? Is it made out of a real Revenant, because if I'm going to wear something that butt-ugly, it had better be made out of quality material.

Mine's burlap, to give me that "realistic grate across your nerves" feeling.

I think they also come in wool, linen, and sandpaper.

Don't forget the leather. That one's my favorite.

Leather is good too...

The key thing is it has to be very, very tight.

True, but if it's high-quality, you hardly notice. I bought a leather dress recently that's so comfortable, it's easy to forget I'm wearing anything at all.

That happens to me all the time.

I forget I'm wearing nothing at all, though.

And Happy Birthday

You should see it.

Yummmmmmmy.

I'm having a hard time keeping her in it.

This is just a recap.

I'm awesome.

This is me playing Devil's Avocado...

No you're not.

Dude, why ya hatin'? Is is because I have an awesome monicker like 'Revenant' and yours is 'Raccoon'.

It's understandable though, people are often off put by my aura awesomeness.

There, I fixed that for you.

Hah! I suppose you think that's funny?

Okay... it is, but just a lil bit.

Why ya siding with the Raccoon Man? It's cuz he's British or English... or Spanish... whatever the hell he is, isn't it?

Sokay, knock me down but I shall rise again, bigger, and awesome..er, than ever!

Actually, I'm being mean 'cause I hear you like it like that. I'm not siding with Proc; I'm siding with you by making you hurt.

You know, this is a thread more or less for humor... if anyone else wants to take a shot at me, feel free.