<sits up and takes a sip of coffee>

Piss on this. I spent way too much time in a vat being poked by scientists. I've had all I can for one lifetime.

Coffee is a stew of slow acting metabolic poisons. Fortunately nova physiology will probably tolerate it.

You swim in your own piss and the waste of other fish. Somehow I wouldn't have imagined coffee would cross your radar as something to be concerned about. Just shut the fuck up, kay?

Oh. Wow.

I think I'm in love.

Oh I'm sorry. Did you say something?

I swim in the stench of humanity's bowels voiding their chemically poisoned wastes into the nearest deep hole they can find while they fantasize happy thoughts of it being magically transformed into fairy dust instead of gushing into the oceans of the planet. By comparison fish waste is a welcome relief and serves many purposes.Discounting the majority of intelligent lifeforms on the planet, who wouldn't be?

Well, yeah, so you agree with me, then. Cool. Glad to see we're on the same page, spud.

And there's a few reasons the monkeys have been using your crib as a toxic pissing ground for hundreds of years: first, nobody living in the ocean ever bothered to complain. They may have well been shooting it into space, for all they care. Second, the insignificant nature of man and his inability to grasp the vastness of something like the ocean made our ancestors think of that space in terms of infinite, and people don't exactly have a sterling track record of global foresight and perspective. And third, a lot of corrupt fuckers out there are willing to fuck anyone and everyone they can in the name of the bottom line. You don't have to like that; shit, I don't like it, and I don't even fucking live there. But that's how it goes, and being a petulant retard in wet spandex isn't going to change that. Maybe you should try talking to someone who matters.



Please take a ticket from the counter and I'll be with you shortly.

Number thirty-seven? Thirty-seven? Flicka, I think that one's you.

Thank you Captain Obvious. Once again my faith in the ability of a singularly spectacular breather to grasp the facts of a situation that somehow manages to confuse a paramecium is rewarded.

No. That's how it went. It's not how it goes. The Earth has defense mechanisms. But have a cup of java and keep thinking happy thoughts.

Watch out - his ego will think you're serious.

Hey, Machina... this is my desprate cry for attention thread. Go get your own.

Asshat.

And you brag about that?

Nasty.

I state the facts.
You have my sincere apologies for my part in detracting from your dialogue.

That was a joke. The fact that you felt the need to apologize has only proven to me that your either a complete moron, or a douche.

That it was a sign of civil behavior never even crossed your mind as a possibility, did it?

Breathers.

I don't breathe. And, like you, I once did. We all started out human Aqua-Man. So if all you did was come around to laydown insults just because you think your better than everyone else with comments like "Breathers". Then as far as I'm concerned you stay your happy ass on the ocean floor. If you don't like us, leave us the fuck alone.

I aon't god no time to deal you assinine nova's with god complexes. Dealin' with my own is difficult enough sometimes.

Oh don't wail so, little one. Within your cold tears are the seeds of future oceans. Perhaps one day you'll even be reincarnated as a better being. Until then, therapy is always an option. After years of intense introspection you might come to understand when you ceasing acting like a breather you stop being a breather.

Breather.

Wow, such a rude an uninformed comment, especially from somebody who believes that fish are great conversation partners.

For once, I might even take offense at something not directed at me, as you AquaMarine have basically made an startling generalization by saying that everyone who breaths, can't be qualified as anything else but a moron or a barbarian.

It's an impressive level of conceit what takes you to think that your eruption into Nova hood was special enough to take you 'beyond your breathing ways', but let me remind you. We are all still the same species pretty much, Homo sapiens Novus, we are about 1% away from humans on DNA, if not on practice at least in our building blocks.

The idea that in the short time you have lived away from humanity you might have become "enlightened" is not only laughable, but it's also ludicrous.

Think whatever you wish, but just remember I think the same about you.

As a small tangent, I might just act more like a 'breather' and dump some toxic wastes on your part of the ocean, I mean if I'm a barbarian might as well act as one, shouldn't I?

You know... I just can't take offense at being called a "Breather." Yep. I am. It's what I do. I also drink, eat, and sleep, among other things. What's your next witty retort? "Biped?" How asinine. I've seen third graders who could come up with more creative insults.

There are a couple of things worth noting, though. If you can't stand us, why bother logging in? Just sit down there in your trench and sing "Unda Da Sea" from The Little Mermaid all day. ...Not to mention the fact that, as far as I remember from biology classes, life evolved out of the ocean, not into it. Face it: In the evolutionary game of dodgeball, your team lost.

Listen carefully. Can either of you hear it? It is the complex music from the cradle of life whispering to you. No of course you can't hear it. The incessant wheezing and sucking of your breathing prevents so simple a thing. It as if six billion vacuum cleaners were neurotically undecided as to whether to suck or blow. Of course you are breathers. I do believe that's been made quite clear. Thank you for taking the time to clarify. Truly the universe in its entirety will one day arise in awe of the dizzying heights you've achieved.

Go on now. Shoo. Back to your latest distraction.

Man, I thought I was going nuts with my whole "losing touch with Humanity and not being able to convince myself to care that it's happening and I can't slow it down" thing, but you, sir, are a wackjob.

Oh, and not only do I not breathe, I also don't eat, drink, excrete, or interact with the matter of this world in any way. I'm about as complete of a non-consumer and non-polluter as you can get. I occupy a space no larger than my body and nothing more. Zero ecological footprint, boyo.

In other words, I'm better than you. Take that, fishbreath.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of frequent and messy kinky knife sex with Neil.

Wow... And I thought hanging out with the "anthropomorphic personification of Death" was weird.

You, sir, are a freak, and if you think you're accomplishing anything other than earning the ire of people you might not want as enemies... You're also insane. Fortunately, my mother's a lovely (breathing) woman who taught me that the insane are to be pitied. You have my sympathy for your unfortunate circumstances.

Mithril: You're better than he is for a lot more reasons than that.

No Revenant, you'll never get a thread totally devoted to your self-gratification.

AquaMarine,
Hello there. I'm Jager. Its good to hear from another nova out and about in the wider world. I'm not going to ask why you hate/dislike/despise surface-dwelling/atmosphere breathing novas such as myself. Its an all too human response that resonates in the minds of many novas. I am curious as to why you are choosing a confrontational approach to dealing with the vast majority as opposed to seeking some means of cooperation? I am a student of the cause of conflicts and I really do want to know were you are coming from.

I think I actually understand AquaMarine's vehemence.

His world has been despoiled by an alien (to his world) people. Vast dead zones with little or no oxygen hug various shorelines around the world. Reefs are bleached white remmants of their former vibrant selves. Whole groups of fish species have disappeared.

In a way, what his world has undergone is much like what happened to my people: the buffalo hunted to near extinction, the land taken from us, the disease deliberately spread in our villages.

That said, what happened to my people is, for the most part, over a century in the past. What happened to AquaMarine's world continues to this day.

Does it help his cause to lash out at us? No. But anger and despair are things of the heart, not the mind, and both are clear as the force behind his words.

HIS WORLD?

OMGWTFBBQ ASDFBFGJKEBKJB URB EYJKHDUKIKF. *headdesk headdesk headdesk*

He's a nova. He was a breather right up until he popped.

Christfucker, Flicka. I'd be jealous if it was anyone else, but given the circumstances, I'm tempted to give a big "oorah" to Neil. Knifeplay? Way to go, kid. I didn't think you had it in you.

And hey, yo, Pissy, I see where you're coming from, but take a step back for a second and realize that AquaLad, here, wasn't born in the fuckin' ocean. He's an immigrant. For him to get all indignant about what was happening to "his world" over the last several thousand years would be like some white boy from Malibu erupting into a black guy and then getting all bitchy about slavery. His indignation is a fucking joke. It's fine to be upset, but let's not pretend that before 1998, he wasn't part of the problem. He's a fucking rube.

Hell. I agree with Machina. Someone shoot me.*







(* CoMA need not apply. You had your chance.)

Jinx. Owe me a Coke.

No worries, Tinny Tess. Agreeing with Machina just means you're growing up. Maybe you finally congealed enough goo in the center of your head to get something resembling a working brain going. Good on ya.

Mithril & Machina,

I do realize that AquaMarine didn't originate in the deep blue. That said, it's his world now.

Either he literally doesn't remember dwelling on land (I've met a few novas that have little or no pre-eruption memory), or he's a convert to the cause... and there is nothing more ferverent than a convert to a cause.

Are you familiar with John Howard Griffin? After his experiences in crossing the racial divide and living for a short time as a black man (as described in Black Like Me), he became one of the leading advocates in the Civil Rights Movement. I think that what we are seeing from AquaMarine is something very similar, though driven farther to the extreme: his transition is permanent rather than just a few weeks; his adopted world is in danger of extinction rather than discrimination; his voice regarding the situation is one of hostility rather than than advocacy.

Confrontation like being presented with the false dilemma of being a moron or a douche? Confrontation like an anal retentive demanding acknowledgment of a shallow argument for the conclusion of conceit as the answer for the crime of daring to question his position in the food chain? The intellectual presenting breather elementary school arguments that contains lunar craters of misinformation and gaps? None of whom want to tacitly acknowledge the self destructive and malignant idiocies learned suckling at the teat of a disastrous and contemptible society?

Did you mean that sort of confrontation?

My part in it is one part personal annoyance coupled with some transference. The personal annoyance is the fact that any actual conversation sounds like...

"(WHEEZE) Hel... (GURGLE) lo. (SUCK)What the hell (WHOOOOM) do you (SUCK) know (WHOOOOOM)."

You can only imagine the aggravation of trying to communicate with a life form that determines their place in the evolutionary scale by how much chemical they poison the water with to rate its "purity", while at the same time recreating the airy equivalent of a slow drain speaking.

The transference is the pain of slow healing radiation burns. You see, numbered among the flotsam and jetsam of a ludicrous civilization that can't deal effectively with what it creates, are some real pearls. Feces adulterated with mutagenic chemicals and poisons you pay for the privilege of failing to digest while zurishima can't even begin to deal with? That's nothing. Entire ecosystems destroyed so someone could test their theories on terra-forming? That is the pinnacle of ineptitude but not the nadir of moral turpitude. Intelligent life forms hunted to extinction for a snack... I won't even go into this. But to create and refine the most deadly substance on the planet, and then breath a sigh of relief because when its dropped from space it missed land and sank into the ocean? Not once but five times that I've found? And there it would have remained poisoning because its not "cost effective" to deal with it. Because its harmless if its not in the middle of of an urban blight.

Harmless.

Air. Sucking. Bastards. Harmless.

I collected the granulated enriched poison spread across a kilometer of ocean. I wrought lead from the earth. I used volcanic vents to refine it and the resource at hand to shape it. Piece by piece I've isolated the most poisonous substance breathers have created that has annihilated species breathers know nothing of. And when its all done I have the rest to deal with others, as bad if not worse. If I sometimes consider lifting the entire thing and throwing it into the middle of one of the urban blights breathers laughingly consider an ecosystem...

Perhaps the definition of cost effective might change. In any case, enlightenment does not translate to an infinitude of patience.
I did not originate here in any but the most poetic of ways. I walked the world as a breather. I recycled while drinking poisoned water. I congratulated myself on owning a green home that was judged so only in contrast to the greater harm that could have been inflicted.

I opened my eyes one day. I saw. I will not spit poison into the crib of the world.

Understanding is rare. I do not undervalue that.You and your mother have mine for not being better beings.

You reap what you sow.

I'm hurt.

Really.

And you have the fucking rocks to say we make sucking noises when we talk. Your diatribe reads like the transcript of a raw food vegan with braces and an overbite giving head to a Northern Californian trustifarian on LSD.

How sad for you.

Really.
Yes.

The one thing that can be said of breathers as a group is that termites would be a step up.

By "most deadly substance on the planet" are you by chance refering to Pu239 (Plutonium)? By dropping from space and hitting the ocean I assume you are refering to the nuclear batteries and microreactors on satellites that reenter.

Plutonium is indeed a royal bitch. Radiation is a joke, won't even hurt a baseline. Chemical toxicity on the other hand beats VX, Sea Snake venom, botulin toxin. Yeah, most deadly substance on Earth fits.

If you really want to clean that puke out of the oceans, collect it in small amounts, and when you get about a kg together, I would be willing to take it out into space and chuck it in the sun.

Collecting large amounts of Pu239 will get you more attention then you really want, from Utopia, Directive, and a whole lot of government/corporate/terrorist scumbags because of the most popular use that charming little element has....

You forgot how homo sapien whatever has been heating up the oceans at an alarming rate for the past 150 years.

Still, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

If the sentient breather population could be convinced to care about the oceans, think about how rapidly things could be restored? The problem with the sentience in the oceans is their inability to reach beyond their natural limitations. Its more than just magic that had led hominids to infringe upon oceanic life - it is the nature of man.