Ladies and gentlemen, under orders from my lovely wife June, I have been tasked with getting my creaking carcass out of the house and busy meeting more people and doing more shows.

So I've come to this comfortable little corner of the OpNet to remind you that a David Devlin concert is always worth the money spent, and if any of you would like to hang out at the after-party, feel free, but all I ask is that you take the time to an informal meet-and-greet with yours truly first.

And yes, so I don't go through what I went through on that other site, I am that David Devlin. Twelve years in the business, no one else better even think about pretending to be me. I raise and train attack lawyers for just that reason.

So, I'm here now, and the party can officially begin!

You know, I'd sort of wondered if you would ever wind up here. And by "wondered", I of course mean "dreaded".

In case you're wondering, I am that Sandcaster: the one who had to come in and clean up after your concert and resulting riots at the Nassau Coliseum back in '07.

And don't bother with the pretty-boy routine with me. I'm with the QNA.

I know who you are, Sandcaster. Believe me, I know.

And first things first: I don't do pretty-boy. I'm too damn old. And I'm married, just like I was in 2005.

Second: I know damn well you're in the QNA. I happen to know quite a few people from QNA. That might have something to do with the...what...four? Five? Opnet and cable PSAs I've put out with my wife backing you guys and gals up publicly?

Now that brings us to #3: I can understand, more than you know, just how bad Nassau was. I saw the riots and the bill for them. I got to have my name dragged through the mud on that. And, no small thanks to you and your going on every OpNet channel you could find, I lost more than a few friends in QNA.

I'll explain it again, to you if you'll listen, and to anyone who knows what Sandcaster is talking about. I. WAS. NOT. THE. ONE. ON. THAT. STAGE. That was why what was supposed to be a family-friendly, all-ages show broke out into a riot. I got held up, and I got to see my concert getting hijacked live on OpNet. I was flipping out in an airport in Texas. If I'd had my calm about me, I'd have just let the cops arrest me there, so that I could prove where I was while that fiasco was going on. But I was furious, and I had to get there come hell or high water.

I heard what he said on stage, and I heard what he said to you and about you. That stung, just like it stung my ears listening to him sing every song just off-key enough to spark a riot, but not enough to be noticeable at first. I don't say things like that, not for the longest time now. I know better. I also know who he really is, and how he got my OpNet code, and if I find him, I'm taking a piece of his hide after my lawyers get finished.

But this brings me back to you, young lady. I did everything I could think of to try to speak to you and explain my side of it. YOU shut ME out. You wouldn't return my messages or speak to me or my detective. I had no chance to make amends, and I'm still paying for that. I have apologized to Nassau, to you, and to anyone who paid good money for that show repeatedly. I will NOT accept responsibility for it, because I am not the one who sabotaged my show.

Mr. Devlin, do you think you were sabotaged on purpose, or merely a target of opportunity? Has anything like Nassau happened again in the past 12 years?

Oh, it was deliberate.

See, there's this nova out there. He's a bit of a head-case. Possibly dangerous as well as annoying as hell. But in the beginning, it's hard not to feel bad for him.

I've talked with people who need gender-reassignment surgery, and being someone else for your whole life is hell to go through. Being a nova is great, unless your family's in one of those CoMA-like groups. If you're going through both...well, God bless you.

Except this little stain snaps after he Erupts. He's spent so long trying to be what everyone else wants him to be, that when he pops, his gift to the world is that he can look like anyone else. Real, real good at it, and he's got enough social smarts to cover for it. At first, he tried to get his family and preacher to "heal" him of his affliction. They can't, so he's ostracized with extreme prejudice, almost killed.

Now he spends a few years alternating between spreading the word of CoMA, and spouting off nonsense that would creep out the Teragen. He can't make up his mind. Then he sees me and a few other celebrity types standing up and standing out about QNA. He targets us, tries to replace us and then ruin out reps in public. Guess he thinks he'll get back in God's good graces that way.

I was an easy target then. I didn't know jack about the need for security above and beyond just the regular stuff. He hit Streetlight, he tried to hit Roadburn, he even tried to smear Alejandra, except her security's top-notch. But he got away every time.

It's taken me lots of cash and lots of time to hunt down what information I do have on this little lizard. He's good at disappearing, I give him that much. But he will slip up. I've got some of the best trackers money can buy, and he will be brought down.

But ever since then, not a peep, Mr. West. I was a target, but I got armored. I have a manager who has an in with Argus. I'd know if he was going to sabotage me again.

If you need actual muscle, look up DeVries. Argus has great info, but DeVries has serious muscle.

I can do crowd control, bodyguard, and detective work. And I'm considered second-string!

Send your info. I'll have someone check you out.

This is an interesting story, Mr. Devlin. I'll have to check some of my sources and see if it adds up, but assuming it does, we may need to talk.

Hey, I'm just glad you're willing to hear me out.

Try getting in touch with a Dale Coppersmith on the Dallas Police force. He remembers me from that night, and although he's not happy with me (hah!), he's too much of a detective to clam up about it. We at least agree that something was flaky that night.

Well. Fuck me sideways, it's you.

Mom loved you. It was always you or Elvis she listened to all the fuckin' time.

Always glad to hear another satisfied customer.

Brawlzilla. Hey, you work the XWF, right? I catch that every now and again; I'm kind of a sucker for wrestling, even the older stuff before it really went over the top.

Fuck that. I said my mom liked you. I wanted ta put a fist throu her fuckin radio everytime you were on.


Yeah, I'm the 50-foot tall greasy one with tentacles. I suppose ya want tickets or an autograph or sumthin? Anything for a fan.

Hey now, sweet thing. I know I get tired of my own stuff if I don't get a break, so I don't blame you. Hard as I try, I know not everyone loves my music. But let's not get too hammer-and-tongs here. I'm just trying to get out and maybe meet more people than I usually do, and I already have some bad blood on these boards, apparently.



You know what? I just might take you up on that. I haven't been to a wrestling event since...Good lord, since Andre the Giant had an afro!

Damn. Nearly choked on my coffee. It's these wonderful moments that remind me I'm not the oldest bastard here.

1935, my friend. Little town right outside Pittsburgh. Moved to Philadelphia when I was five for a more pleasant change of scenery.

Sweet thing? That'd better not be a joke. I'll fuckin' knock your lights out. And that ain't no joke.

But I like that you aren't so full of yourself. I like that you can get tired of yourself. It shows character.


My agent will be in touch with yours. Just let your guy know how many you want.

I snort derisively in your direction, officer.

Ma'am, I have been on this planet for over 80 years, the last 20 of which have been more strange than anything I ever read about in my old pulp magazines. Absurdity is today more an essential ingredient than a spice. After so long on the planet, I've learned one thing: If you take your life too seriously, it'll kill you.

And I'll be getting in contact with your agent.

Huh. No agent? Damn, I got one just for the paperwork bullshit. I don't got time to fuck around with that shit.

Ill tell Bruno to expect ya.

Of course I have an agent. But I'm a hands-on kinda guy, and I'm usually standing on his shoulders. When he sees it, I see it.

So, I will be waiting.

Great. An old-fart with a node.


Just what we needed.

Yeah, and don't you go changing either, sunshine. Stay classy.